I’ve been drawing the long straw every time on accommodations. Statistics were mounting in my disfavor, and true to form, I drew the short one last night. Not because of the place itself, although it felt more hotel-like than the last two which were homey. But because of some jack weasel somewhere (not in the hotel, but in a nearby house I think) was playing loud music all. night. long. Finally, it stopped at 5am. I’m not joking. I slept until 6,then was up for good. I decided to just hang in my room and relax instead of going down for breakfast. I had a blueberry muffin and a banana from my pack, got my stuff together, and met the sheep wagon at 9. I’m glad this is the last day. I’m tiring of the bus, and you can feel that the others are as well. Five days of fast travel is tough- even worse when you have no control.
The night’s accommodations.
It was sprinkling, but just barely a breeze. And I could see patches of blue in the distance. The driver put on “Here Comes the Sun”, and as the first few notes started, everyone was laughing and joking that they hoped so! We made one little scenic stop. Then, we made a 30 minute stop at the Falls of Foyers. There was a perfect little sun-dappled path through the most magnificent trees. The kind of path that leads to something magical. I was 6th off the bus, so I had people ahead of me. We got to a T in the trail. They all headed left. I stopped to ponder- follow my herd, or stray? And while I pondered, I heard a cat. Not just any cat, a cat in distress! It was the same mournful/frantic sound my cat made when he was stuck in a tree for three days. I heard it again. The sound was coming from the right. And again. I had to see if I could find him! There was no one going that way (everyone passing me was going left). I took off to the right. I crossed a bridge (that I’m quite certain is the home of a troll) and walked down the path, ears alert for meows. I didn’t go very far, until a saw a darling little cat running down the trail frantically meowing at me! His tone changed when he saw me and he started rubbing on my legs as I petted him and asked if he was lost. He didn’t feel skinny, and he was sooooo friendly! It’s almost like he was expecting me, and made that distress call knowing it would get my attention. As I petted and talked to him, some other people started walking toward us. The little cat ran up the trail and looked back. The lady bent down to coax him over, but he just turned his tail and ran away. Do fairy kings ever take on the form of a cat??
I’m sure they do, and that was the fairy King answering my prayers about the weather from day 4! The skies were blue, the sun was out, and the air was just crisp enough to make your skin feel alive. I headed off down the trail to see the Falls of Foyers. Snapped a few shots, then headed off down the other way. The cat was no where in sight, but this place, for me, had felt the most magical by far. I can’t explain it. The waterfall, the trees, the cliffs, the paths. I don’t know. Some feelings you never have an answer to “why” for.
The drive through the countryside was wonderful!! Super narrow, winding roads through trees and hills, past dark lochs and hidden magic. You could feel it. Next stop, a scenic view of Loch Ness from the opposite side! I was THRILLED, because I forgot to take a video about it for my class yesterday! I almost picked up a rock as a souvenir, but decided against it.
These cows were running as fast as they could down this hillside! I like to think it was for the sheer joy of this place. I’m guessing food may have played a role, however. 😉
Then, we went somewhere I knew nothing about. The Culloden battlefield. It’s where the Jacobites (remember, they’re the followers of the disposed King James VII of Scotland, II of England who was replaced by Mary and William in the history lesson on day 3. 🙂 ) There was an AMAZING museum, and I don’t say that lightly, about what led up to the battle, the battle itself, the aftermath, and relics. The story was so fascinating, although I didn’t have time to give it justice. I did take pictures of every single sign though (I’m not kidding- EVERY sign- dozens of them), so I can go back and read all of the information. There was a letter that Bonnie Prince Charles wrote to his uncle… Louis XV of France (I got tears in my eyes!) …asking him for help. From what I could read, it looks like Louis XV promised help, and did send supplies. But he never invaded England and sent troops as promised. I was disappointed in Louis about that… The battlefield itself was very somber and quite emotional for me. The only other place in the world where I’ve ever felt a real “connection” on some primal level to the history is France. I cry all the time there when I see certain things (like how I teared up when I saw that letter to Louis). Can’t explain it. This battlefield now marks the 2nd country where I’ve felt this strong connection. The history there was palpable. The red flags represented the English lines. The blue, the Jacobites. No big history lesson, because without a ton of proper research I would not do this story justice. So I’m just going to tell you this- the Jacobites were practically massacred. 1500-2000 were killed, versus 300 British in the battle that lasted less than an hour. Scotland had fallen to the English, and I seriously can not tell you the anger I felt toward England. Look, if you’re English, my apologies. But there is something inside of me that just does NOT like England in a historical sense. Again, it’s a feeling that makes zero sense and I can’t explain it. It’s like I have some pent up grudge against them. I don’t know… Anyway, the wearing of kilts was banned, which ties in with the house we saw by the bridge in Day 2 where the Jacobites would change into their trousers before they left the Isle of Seil, and back into their kilts when they came back home. It tied up the loose ends of seeing the Flora MacDonald monument on Skye from Day 4- she was the lady who helped Bonnie Prince Charles (leader of the Jacobite army) escape Scotland and get to the safety of France. And it tied up the cairn and grave of another Scottish hero, Roderick Mackenzie, from Day 5- who looked so much like Bonnie Prince Charles, that he basically sacrificed himself to the English so the real Prince Charles would have more time to escape. I could have easily spent 2-3 hours there, but I only had an hour and 15 minutes. I really needed this history lesson. It’s been too many days since I really learned something. MY GOD. The entire trip just clicked for me on this battlefield. Scenery and such is nice. But HISTORY is alive!! For me, the 5 day bus tour ended here. The rest, was fluff.
Bonnie Prince Charlie. The collection of items here was wonderful!
So emotional for me. A handwritten letter from Prince Charles to King Louis XV of France, requesting much needed aid from France to fight off the English.
They were having a weapons demonstration. I NEEDED MORE TIME!!!
Blue flag for the Jacobites. Even the wind was blowing the flag in a defeated kind of position. 🙁 I tried and tried to get a shot of it flowing freely, and couldn’t.
The red flag is for the English. Even the flag is waving victoriously, almost 300 years later.
The engraving on this bench broke. my. heart. Translated from Gaelic, it reads “We followed you, prince, to this ocean of flatness and bullets.” The red flag in the background…gutted.
Stones representing the various clans that fought in the battle are placed throughout the battlefield.
A cairn to the memory of the lost Jacobite soldiers.
Then it was lunch time in Aviemore. A little over an hour here, and no museum or anything. I didn’t even take a picture. Went and paid 50p to use the bathroom, then sat on the bench by the bus stop, blogging, chatting with Brian, and eating my picnic lunch. I’m seriously ready to be off the bus and in control of my own destiny again.
It was an hour drive to the next stop. On the way, we passed gorgeous green hills covered in dark colored Heather plants. They bloom twice a year (not in June!). My middle name is Heather, after that flower. We did make a quick photo stop at Blair castle. Queen Victoria and Albert spent their honeymoon here!
Next stop, the charming little town of Pitlochry. We had an hour here, and I spent every bit of it at the Pitlochry Dam visitor center (which is very well done and tells the history of the dam and electricity production) and, the highlight- the fish ladder they built for salmon so they could get over the dam! And the best part?? I SAW A REAL WILD SALMON!! I’ve never seen one in the wild, and I’m a total fish geek (marine biology degree), so my excitement and squeal of delight could be lost on you. 🙂
A real, live SALMON in the fish ladder!!
The last stop of our trip was to some bridges that go across some river and are apparently important somehow. Anything after 1800 bores me to tears, so I snapped a couple of pics out of a sense of obligation, but quickly reboarded the bus. Soon, we were pulling in to Edinburgh. I got my bag out of the back of the bus, and walked the .6 miles to my AirBNB- the same one I stayed at on my first night here. It was nice to walk into something familiar.
As tired as I was, this was one of the best days for me. I’m writing this a couple of days after the fact, and the feelings of connection to that battlefield still haven’t left me. A few months ago, I did one of those DNA tests (I’m adopted, long story, read the El Salvador journal if you want more information). I didn’t even pay much attention to the ancestor countries at the time, because that wasn’t what I was looking for. However, I felt compelled to go back and look. I already knew that I have French bloodlines (I found this out long, long after my love affair with French History began). And there it was. 12% Irish/Scottish/Wales. I’m going to Ireland next (funny thing, I grew up thinking I was a lot more Irish than I really am!), and it will be interesting to see if I feel any connection there.
For people who have put in their 2 cents about me being on a 5 day bus tour, and how you can’t expect to experience anything that way, um, yeah. Have a seat, please. Experiences are based on connections, emotions, attitude…not transportation. I had plenty of wonderful experiences that I would never had had if not for this bus tour! Is it my preferred mode of transport? No. Not by a longshot. I’ve never traveled like this before. But it is one I can utilize when necessary, and I won’t be made to feel guilty for that. That said, I was happy when we pulled into Edinburgh. The girl from Turkey that I sat next to on the bus for 5 days, ate lunch with once, and had a few conversations with….yeah, I don’t even know her name. If you knew me, that wouldn’t surprise you. (Brian was like, “Yeah, that’s you!”). I wasn’t there for companionship. I travel solo because I am comfortable and confident with myself. I value my “me” time to soak in the things I am seeing and learning with minimal distractions. Of course, I love traveling with Brian as well and can’t wait until we are in Malta together next month! But it’s different when you’re solo. And different isn’t bad.
It was nice to not have to wake up and get ready to meet the bus. It was nice to just be able to spend the morning sitting in bed, working, blogging, and drinking a cold Diet Dr. Pepper. This is the life! 🙂 Oh, and to do some laundry. In Iceland, the washer was set to this 15 minute express thing. The clothes got clean-ER, but I wouldn’t call them super clean. Two weeks of that. Then, 5 days on the bus. Keep in mind, I’m traveling for 2.5 months to varied climates such as Iceland and Malta (in July!). That is a huge difference of wardrobe to pack into a carry on bag. Which means I only have a few outfits for each climate. Let’s just say my cold weather clothes got a workout on a bus with no access to laundry for 5 days… I was waiting to be voted off the bus by my fellow passengers around day 3… Anyway, glorious laundry!! That went for like an hour!! I kept walking in, looking at it all sudsy and twisty and saying out loud, “Those clothes are going to smell SO good!”. And they did. 🙂 Sometimes, it’s the little things…
The forecast predicted serious rain for Edinburgh today, so when I got in last night, I decided I better do a bit of grocery shopping so I wouldn’t have to lug groceries 2 blocks in the rain tomorrow. I’m not really sure how I’ve survived almost half a century on Earth without knowing the glories of the clearance section at Tesco!! They always have those little refrigerated (not frozen) pre-made microwavable meals SUPER CHEAP. I got two of them- one was Scottish Stovies. I figured what the hell did I have to lose for 75p (that’s $1. Yes, a whole meal for $1- pay attention, Iceland!). It is ground beef, potatoes, and onions kind of blenderized smooth. It was really good! Great warm breakfast to start the day with!
Today I was going on the Witches of Edinburgh tour. The hourly forecast (which, in Scotland, is a joke played on tourists!) said that it was going to be pouring at 1pm- not just pouring, but a thunderstorm as well! I had to walk about a 1/2 mile to get to the tour. I figured that if I drowned in the torrential downpour, at least I was not a witch. If I didn’t drown….well, at least I’d be toasty warm for a few minutes! 🔥☠ Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to….sunshine! 🌞 Witchery, indeed! I got to the meeting point at the National Museum about 20 minutes early (which for me, is right on time and bordering on late!). And I saw rainbows everywhere!! Rainbows in a sunny sky? No! Rainbows on the streets! Remember on Day 1 here when I walked off the bus into the Women’s March? Well, I was in the middle of another march! The Pride March! THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of people!! Want to know the funny thing? Back in ‘mericuh, I have never been anywhere near any march ever. I’ve spent two days in Edinburgh, and both days I’ve been caught up in one! It’s like they throw a parade every time I step on to the street! 😉
I love, love, LOVE this picture. In my mind, these two women are this little rainbow angel’s mommies. Raising her with love and life and fun! People who don’t think LGBTQ people should raise children make me SICK. And if you’re one of them, there’s a little X in the upper right hand corner of this page. Use it, and go back to your ignorant, hate-filled life. I was raised by heterosexuals. No rainbow wings, rainbow tutus, pink leggings, and balloons (or parents who seem to be in complete bliss!) in that childhood. I only wish I had been as fortunate as this little girl appears to be. All children deserve a childhood. And that can only be provided by loving people- gay, straight, purple…it doesn’t matter. #offsoapbox #loveislove
So now, let me tell you the definition of awkward…having your witch’s tour meeting point on the very corner with this massive pride parade going on. Why? Because so many of the marchers were in costume, and my email said “Look for your costumed guide”!! Bwah ha ha ha ha!!! 😝 Any way, I managed to find him. We went into the museum and discussed how witchcraft is basically any ritual you do, expecting some kind of outcome (real or for fun). Throw a coin in a fountain and make a wish? Witchcraft. You don’t have to have a cauldron and a long, crooked nose. 😉 We went through the Picts section of the museum- the ancient peoples of Scotland- and discussed their rituals. We went into a room with some carvings and I saw this one and thought, “Oh, we must be in the Egyptian section now.”, just based on the carvings at the bottom of the stone. Nope, Picts. Isn’t it odd how much their god looks like Horus of Egypt????
We then moved into the torture room, where the guide described some of the methods in gruesome detail. How did they know you were a witch back then? Well, being a woman was a pretty sure sign. And if you were accused, you were as good as dead. He didn’t mention it, but it was the church’s way of keeping women under strict control. Oh, the church…spreading love, acceptance, and independent thinking for 2000+ years. #puke By the way, that little comment would have gotten me KILLED back in the day. 🔥 ☠ Blasphemers, if they weren’t killed outright, would have their tongues split in half…marking them for life as a blasphemers. They would basically be outcast from society. OMG, can you believe that?? Uh oh, I’m dead again. 🔥☠ OMG is blasphemy- lord’s name in vain.
Ok, I have to say, I wasn’t exactly 100% thrilled with the tour. There really wasn’t as much focus on witches as I wanted. I really wanted a story with a bit more continuity and flow. But I will say, the guy was super passionate about the topics he presented! They just weren’t all directly related to witches (at least my perception of them). After about 2 hours, we reached the end of the tour. He said we could go outside with him and practice divination, or end the tour here. We had about 20 people. 6 of us went with him. And OMG (#deadagain 🔥☠), I am SO glad I did!! This was the best part of the whole damn tour!
So we went out into the courtyard of some old college, and Frank, the guide, pulled out these divination rods. I’m familiar enough with them to know that they’re also called dowsing rods, and people have been using them for forever to find water. That was the extent of my knowledge. Well, that and the fact that I don’t believe in them. In case you didn’t read the Elf School journal, I DO believe in spirits. But I am very scientific and logical, and know that generally there is a scientific and logical explanation for everything- including divination rods and such other “tools”. So Frank pulls out this metal, L-shaped rod, and starts showing us how he can flex his hands to make them turn the way he wants. It was really obvious. Then, he does it again and it’s not obvious at all, but he tells us he’s manipulating it. So, he says, to counteract this flaw, divining rods should be sheathed. He pulls out one that has a copper sheath around it that you hold on to. The rod can spin freely within this sheath, but your hands are not in direct contact with it. He then tells it out loud what he wants it to do- turn left, turn right, point to this person, that person, point straight…and the rod does it every time. Interesting, but I’m just staring at his hands the entire time, trying to figure out how he’s manipulating it…. I can’t, but slight of hand is almost undetectable to an untrained eye. Then, he hands us a rod to try. People…people… I was blown away… It’s times like this that I wish my camera man Brian was here! Had I done this hundreds of years ago…yeah, DEAD.🔥☠
Then he brings out a pendulum. It’s hanging from a metal rod with a chain. He explains how you can make it move by telling it where you want it to go, just like the rods. I tried it. And I tried to be PERFECTLY still. I didn’t say it out loud this time. I just thought it. And damned if that thing didn’t move in a circle when I mentally told it to, stop when I mentally told it to, and move back and forth when I mentally told it to. CREEPY. He then put the pendulum over a paper that had a bunch of words on it like Yes, No, Maybe, etc… He told us to put the pendulum over it, think about an important question, and our subconscious would move the pendulum to the answer. I thought of my question. It moved to No. Weird thing, I was thinking Yes for the answer! Time will tell if it’s right. I’ll report back (could be years!). Oh, and again…DEAD.🔥 ☠
Last, we got to use two divination rods. The goal here was to make them cross and uncross using just our mind. AND DAMN IF IT DIDN’T WORK AGAIN!! Seriously, I can not tell you how logical and scientific I am about things. And I just couldn’t figure out how it was working because I was trying to be super still and do everything possible to not influence them. I didn’t want it to work! But it did. And I’m not going to lie, it kinda freaked me the fuck out! Oh, and by the way, hundreds of years ago, I’d be DEAD.🔥☠
Of course, I immediately came back to the apartment and started researching. Everything I could find was about how they have been debunked for finding water- that they worked about the same as just random chance at finding it. But I wasn’t trying to find water. I did find this one article, but I want more information! I know there is a reasonable explanation. Again, I DO believe in spirits, but I do NOT think they are controlling these tools in any way. But even my scientific mind had some doubt creeping in- it was that freaky! I can’t even imagine people hundreds of years ago before science and logical thought and everything was superstitious in some way…If someone has any information, please comment below! I’ll reply if I’m not DEAD. 🔥☠
Oh, and all of those thousands upon thousands of pride marchers? Yeah, if today was a few hundred years ago and we were behaving like this, we’d all be DEAD. 🔥☠
On Day 8, I went on a free walking tour of Edinburgh with City Explorers. Every city I go to, I like to do these free walks. It really gives you an excellent lay of the land, some history, and a great idea of places you’d like to go back and explore more. And this is where I feel I have to always point out this fact. The tour is free. Yes. But don’t be a cheap ass!! Tip your guide! They work on tips. Most of them these days even have a credit card machine with them, so you have no excuse!
The group was an international one, that’s for sure! We represented the US, Malaysia, Hungary, India, Canada, Czech Republic, and France! The guide, and I hate myself for not remembering his name, was fantastic. He was so passionate about the stories, so just “into” the whole experience. Literally, it was the best walking tour I’ve ever done, hands down. Plus, (Brian, skip to the next paragraph), he wasn’t tough on the eyes… 😉
The walk was 2 hours long, and I wasn’t bored for a second of it. I took a TON of video for class, and not a lot of pictures. I’m just going to share a few of the highlights here, as I’ll be going back and visiting a lot of these places again later and don’t want to “double journal” about them. I mainly want to focus on the stories and interesting facts I learned…believe me, there was WAY more to this tour than is in the journal, and I HIGHLY recommend it! (Ask for the cute young guide with the blue eyes! #sorrybrian) Settle in for some learnin’… 🙂
I learned what a close is. Before I teach you though, we have to have a little history/geography lesson. Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland (2nd biggest city, though- Glasgow is bigger). People have been living in this area since at least 8500BCE- that’s 10,000 years!! But the city itself was set apart as “special” when King David I set up shop here in the 1100s. Every king has to have a castle, and King David I was no different. This was the first building of the castle. Now, the thing that really blew me away was that it’s built on top of a VOLCANO! You don’t really think about volcanoes when you think of Scotland! It’s the highest point, with these steep basalt cliffs all around. Only one entrance. Perfect for defense. So this “backbone” of lava runs underneath what is called the Royal Mile. The castle on one end, and 1 1/8 mile down the road (that was the measure of a Scotland mile back in the day. The English standardized it later.) is the palace- Holyrood- where the queen stays when she’s visiting. All along this main street are cathedrals and shops and amazing buildings (and about 9 zuadzillion tourists). It’s basically the backbone of the city. From the backbone, run the ribs. Extremely narrow pedestrian “alley ways” of sorts, called closes or wynds. Back in the day (1400s, 1500s, 1600s, 1700s), the tenement buildings were so close to each other that you could literally reach across the close and touch your neighbor. They’re pretty cool and unique- I’ve never seen a city design like it. Here’s one.
Then we discussed something that I had passed by several times and love. This weird column thing with a unicorn on top. You’ll remember from previous blogs that the unicorn is the national animal of Scotland (because they are so freaking cool like that!!). Anyway, I learned that this is called Mercat Cross. The first one was built in the mid-1300s (damn, Scotland, can you get any cooler??!). Of course, this isn’t it. This one was built in the late 1800s. It’s been used for executions and royal proclamations- the latter only happening still (thank goodness after my antics on Day 7!! 😉 ).
This was a cool coat of arms I saw on a building. The lion represents England.
Then we heard the story of the oldest statue in Edinburgh- that of Charles II, who’s been riding this same horse since 1685!! So the story goes that the statue is hollow. And it was kind of falling down and water was getting in it from holes in the head. So to fix the problem, they drilled a hole in the bottom of the horse so the water would flow through. Except then it looked like the king was riding an incontinent horse every time it rained, so they had to fix that!
We then walked around to St. Giles Cathedral. We didn’t go in, but it’s beautiful from the outside.
On the other side of the street, there were street performers. Guys playing the pipes in full kilt regalia. And some wizard who looked like he was levitating next to a unicorn. Don’t ask me, I just take the pictures…
We then crossed the street and heard the tale of Deacon Brodie (namesake of the tavern). Here’s the Cliff Notes version. So DB as we’ll call him was a cabinet maker for the wealthy people of Edinburgh in the mid 1700s. He was well to do himself, coming from a wealthy family and having established himself in town- he was on the town council and such. Now, wealthy people who are buying fine cabinets want to put fine things in them. And they don’t want the poors to be able to get to their fine things, so they want a fine lock. So DB was not just a cabinet maker, but a lock maker as well. And not just a cabinet maker and a lock maker, but a gambler and womanizer, too. The latter of those “jobs” took quite a bit of money- more than the former were bringing in. So DB decided to not just deal with locks on cabinets, but locks on the front doors of his wealthy clientele as well. He would make keys and let himself in and help himself. No one could figure out how people were being robbed without a window being broken or a door being forced! In fact, the dilemma was so odd, that the city came to Deacon Brodie himself to see if he could solve the case (spoiler alert: he didn’t). But, like most criminals, he wasn’t content with what he was nicking on his own. No, he needed a crime ring!! So he got some other yahoos in on the gig, who ended up ratting him out. But when the cops came a knocking, DB was gone. He was captured in the Netherlands and sent back, found guilty, and sentenced to hang. Interesting note: He had been involved in the invention of the trap door underneath gallows. Said trap door was used on him… If you look at the sign hanging outside the pub, it shows the two sides of Deacon Brodie. These two completely opposite sides of this one man inspired a writer in Edinburgh by the name of Robert Louis Stevenson to pen a story….Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Fascinating!
We talked a lot about the Enlightenment as it pertained to Edinburgh. Very interesting, and I encourage you to take the tour or do some research on your own. But I’m going for the “Horrible Histories” tone in this blog, so I’ll skim over the intellectual crap. 😉 #yourluckyday
We worked our way down to the castle, which is surrounded by construction because the Military Tattoo will be held here next month. No, it’s not some drunken sailor getting a naked woman tattooed on his arm (Shout out to ya, dad!). It’s kind of like a military showcase performance from militaries all over the world. Sounds cool! Stands screwed up my shots, though! I’ll be going to the castle later this week.
Then it got cray-cray! We overlooked what is supposed to be the inspiration for Diagon Alley! Whether it is or isn’t doesn’t really matter- it’s very quaint! There’s a Boy Wizard shop (that I’ll go in another day), and something even better. A place called Oink. That has a roasted pig in the window every day. And apparently makes amazing pulled pork sandwiches on delicious rolls. Oh god, it took all my will power not to lick that window! I’m going to try to go there for lunch one day (yeah, right!).
Next “what will you think of next, Edinburgh?” story is of a woman named Maggie Dickson. There’s a pub named after her. (Seriously, I think if you sneeze around here, someone will name a pub after you! Any excuse for a pub!). Ok, so quick history lesson about dear old Maggie Dickson. She was a fish wife. Her husband would catch the fish, and Maggie’s job was to sell those fish. Then, her husband up and disappeared on her. No husband, no fish, no job, no way to support herself. So she ended up working in a local pub (I’m telling ya, life revolves around the pubs!), where she got into a rather scandalous secret relationship with the pub owner’s son. Scandalous, because even though her man up and abandoned her, she was still married in the eyes of God, and adultery was a big fat N.O. back then (especially being female!). Well, Maggie ends up pregnant. Uh oh. She hides the pregnancy for 6 months. Then, the baby was born. Obviously 6 months doesn’t result in a fully cooked baby, and since you were lucky to live if you were grown and healthy back then (we’re talking early 1700s), you can imagine premature babies didn’t have any chance at all. Maggie took her dead child down to the banks of the Nor Loch to leave it there in secret. But someone saw her. And reported her. And Maggie was tried, convicted, and sentenced to hang. And hang her they did. Right on the Grassmarket where we were standing, where public executions were fairly common.
So you’re like, “Ok, and…? What’s the big deal?”. Oh, let me tell you what the big deal was. Maggie was hanged, put in her coffin, loaded onto a cart, and driven out toward the cemetery. The drivers decided to stop in to a local pub (see!!) and have a drink. Maggie wasn’t in any rush to get where she was going anyway. Then, they hear a commotion outside. They go out to see what’s going on, and the commotion is coming from INSIDE the coffin! They crack that puppy open, and up pops Mary! Who proceeds to climb out of said coffin. You can only imagine!!!
Well, what becomes of Maggie now? She had already been tried, convicted, and executed. Obviously this was a miracle! She was not punished further. She was given a full pardon, and lived another 25 years, running…you guessed it…a local pub! She’s known all as “Half-Hangit Maggie”….and her story is quite possibly the basis for Nearly Headless Nick of Harry Potter fame!
We went into Greyfriar’s Kirk, saw some graves, and talked about Greyfriar’s Bobby. But I’ll save that story for another day- a day when I actually take pictures and not videos! The tour was over, and about half of the cheap asses walked off without giving this guy a dime (pence?). Seriously, people? How trashy can you be? I went up and gave him some money and told him that of all the city tours I had been on, this was the best by far, and he did an awesome job. I meant it. He said he really appreciated it. I asked for his phone number. Ok, that part is a lie! 😜
Day 9. Can I get a do over? Seriously. Sometimes, the universe speaks to you in a whisper. Sometimes it shouts. And sometimes it knocks you smack upside the head, and when you STILL don’t listen, it throws up its arms and says, “Fine, bitch, don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.” Yeah, that’s what happened today. See, the internet here has been kind of wanky (which has made blogging and working super enjoyable…). Yesterday, I tried and tried to book my tickets online for The Real Mary King’s Close. The internet would just spin on my credit card until it timed out. Over and over. That was the universe whispering. So I thought, well, I’ll just get up and be there for the first tour- I should be able to get in without a booking. Gathered my belongings at 10am and headed down for the 10:45 tour. Which was already fully booked. The first time they could get me in would be 11:30. Well, that was a problem because I was going to do a Harry Potter walking tour at 12. The universe was shouting… It was over at 1, so I said, “How about 1:30?”. Perfect. Paid, walked out the door, then got to thinking. Was that Harry Potter tour just 1 hour, or was it more??? Pulled up my spreadsheet and damn if it wasn’t 1.5 hours! That means it would be over at 1:30. Not gonna work! I turned around to go in and change it to 1:45, and the line was out the damn door. Fuck it, I’ll just do the 4pm Harry Potter tour. The universe had smacked me right upside the head, and I just kept on going, oblivious.
Came back to the apartment, worked, worked, and worked some more, and headed back over at 1:15. Went in, started taking pictures, and was immediately informed “NO PHOTOGRAPHY”. I seriously have no idea why. Well, I have an idea- I’ll share it at the end. And it just went downhill from there. I just paid $20 to be served cheese. And not even something good like smoked gouda. More like processed American cheese- like generic Kraft singles in the plastic wrapper. Yeah. That bad. The guide was so damn bored, I didn’t know who was going to fall asleep first- me or him. The mannequins were cheesy. The videos were cheesy. There was no flow, no continuity, no real history being discussed. This was tourist sheep herding at its finest. There was a tour every 15 minutes all damn day, and they were all full. Get ’em in, grab their money, get ’em out. A grind. And this guide was ground down…
You basically go through a lot of the single room “houses”. There are mannequins, props, there’s something about Mary Queen of Scots spending a night here. They talk about throwing your shit pot out on the street, and just in case you can’t envision the entire process from start to finish, they act it out (it was the most animated this guy ever got). There’s a room with these big video pictures that you watch. Poorly done. One is Mary King, one is some doctor drinking urine to test for diabetes (the “yuck” factor to gross out tourists was just dumb and unnecessary), and I couldn’t even figure out the relation of the last guy was to the whole thing. Then, the ghost story. We sat on a bench and listened to a recording. First off, the acoustics are AWFUL. They are playing two tracks at the same time out of two different speakers. The speaker I was near had all of the background noise- cats meowing, people groaning and talking, blah blah blah. The other speaker was the guy telling the story. But I couldn’t hear it because of the background speaker. Jesus. If you can’t hire a guide that can TELL us a good ghost story, then what’s the damn point? We went into some room where some little girl supposedly died of the plague and her ghost haunts the room looking for a doll. So people have left a stack of dolls. The whole thing is supposed to be super haunted. I felt nothing. If I were a ghost, I’d ditch this place, too, just to not have to listen to this guide drone on about nothing. At the end, they’ll take your picture. So we can’t take our own pictures because either a) they want to make even more money off this lame ass tour or b) they don’t want us showing the world how lame ass this tour is. My money is on c- all of the above. I snapped one anyway. I deserved it after suffering through that tripe for an hour. The guy across from me said to his wife, “This place is way over hyped.” I piped up with “Agreed.” We nodded at each other. Solidarity.
Ok, here’s the deal with this place. It has the potential to be AMAZING. It is literally a slice of history. And it makes me SICK how they utilize it. The close (remember, that’s one of those super narrow streets) is named after a woman, Mary King, who was kind of a big deal in Edinburgh in the 1600s. Some kind of businesswoman or something, and her husband left her a lot of money and a house on the close, and she squandered it. I don’t know. The whole thing was impossible to follow. Anyway, the plague swept through this area, a bunch of people died. In the late 1700s, the close was covered up and partially destroyed to build the huge Royal Exchange building on top of it. It was uncovered at some point, and now tours are given. If I could come down here with a true historian, I know I’d be captivated. I don’t know what this guide was, but he wasn’t a historian… Anyway…
The wind picked up, the Harry Potter tour is outside and I want to film, so wind and video don’t go together. I just stayed home and worked. Oh, and picked up Diet Dr. Pepper at Tesco on my way back. I needed some kind of comfort after that mess…
The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round…. Here we go again…
Yep, it’s another bus tour. Same company, Highland Experience, but this time, their Rosslyn Chapel, Stirling Castle & Dunfermline Abbey tour. I wanted to go on this tour specifically for history, and especially to see Robert the Bruce’s burial place at Dunfermline Abbey. Got my stuff together and met the bus at 8:45. I shit thee not, the kind of annoying dude from my 5 day bus trip (the one that fell in the aisle when the driver had to slam on his brakes) was on this trip. Oy. What are the chances?! I went toward the back of the bus and sat down in an empty row. It didn’t stay empty for long. 🙁
Our guide was Steven (Stephen?) B. And he was REALLY good! He had a passion for the history, and told us all of the stories as we drove. It was awesome. I’m quite happy with the guides through Highland Experience. He announced that our first stop would be to see the three bridges over that river from the last day of the 5 day bus tour! Oh, man! Blah. I didn’t even get off. Get me to some history, man!! As we drove to our next stop, Steven (ph?) told us all about William Wallace and then Robert the Bruce. I loved it!! I’m not going to detail it all here, but definitely worth a read if you search online.
Soon, we were pulling up to Dunfermline Abbey. YESSSSSSSSS! This is the place I was super excited about!! My favorite place in (just outside of) Paris is St. Denis’ Basilica- where the vast majority of all of the kings of France are buried. This is kind of Scotland’s version of that… We get out and hear the sound of bagpipes wafting over the old rock wall of the abbey…ah, Scotland, you are so charming! Our guide leads us behind the walls, up to St. Margaret’s shrine. Margaret was a queen of Scotland in….are you sitting down?…1073!!! Yeah, that’s a 0. Not a typo. Holy crap. Speaking of holy crap, Margaret was a super duper pious Catholic. That river I don’t care about that has all those bridges across it that I don’t care about? Yeah, she had a ferry built across that river (it’s massively wide) so pilgrims trying to get to St. Andrew’s (which was obviously on the other side of the river!), could get across. Well, she died in Edinburgh Castle in 1093, and was canonized as a saint in 1250 and her remains placed at Dunfermline. When Scotland decided that Catholicism sucked and Protestantism was the way to the pearly gates, she kinda got dug up and “redistributed”. For example, Mary Queen of Scots wound up with sole custody of Margaret’s head. This head over the next couple of centuries made its way to France, where- I swear to god I can’t make this shit up- her HEAD WAS LOST IN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION!!! LOL. 😂 I so cracked up when I read that! Poor Saint Margaret, the only 800 year old person to lose her head in the revolution!!! (Yeah, piety ain’t my thing…)
So enough about Margaret- let’s get to Robert the Bruce! But our guide told us to wait a minute, he’d be right back. And when he came back, he said there was a funeral going on and the abbey was CLOSED! That’s what the bagpipes were that we heard- piping for a funeral procession. Ok, look, I’m not pious, but I’m not a total bitch either. Someone died. I get why we couldn’t go in. Sucks, but what are you going to do? We then had an hour and 15 minutes to wander around the graveyard- which was about an hour longer than was needed…. I walked around and snapped some shots, trying to be respectful of the mourners and not be taking pictures where they could see me (and definitely not of them).
So…history lesson time. The abbey was built in 1128, but there was churchy stuff here before that, because Saint Margaret got married here in the 9th century. In 1303, Edward I of England (who, in my time in Scotland, I have learned was a total asshole and I kinda hate him…), held court here and then burned most of it down. It was rebuilt, then the reformation happened in the 1500’s, and the church was sacked. This is when Margaret’s remains got “redistributed”. But the thing I had come here for was Robert the Bruce! King of Scotland! His body was interred here in 1329- except for his heart. You know that movie “Braveheart” (I love it). Yeah, bunch of rubbish. William Wallace is NOT Braveheart. That was a name for Robert the Bruce. And Robert the Bruce NEVER fought with England against Scotland and betrayed Wallace! And the kilt wasn’t even invented for like 300 years AFTER this movie happened! And….well, google it. Rubbish. But still a great movie! Anyway, here’s a cool fact. The tomb was down there all those centuries, and we didn’t even know it until 1818 when some workers discovered it! The descriptions of the burial matched the historical records, and wa-la…it was Robert the Bruce. Fascinating. And I love that the tower of the Abbey says King Robert the Bruce. Awesomesauce. 🙂
St. Margaret’s shrine. Not so impressive, because apparently “Thou shalt not steal” didn’t quite get through to the Christians, and they each took little pieces of her shrine as a souvenir until it was….well…this.
Burial site of William Wallace’s mother
No lie, people were pretty disappointed about not being able to go in, since it was one of the 3 main things we were paying to see. But everyone took it well. Steven (ph?) said that since we didn’t get to go in, he was going to give us an extra stop- something we normally see from the road only. The Bannockburn battlefield!! I was so excited!! Honestly, I had no freaking clue what it was…but I was excited anyway!! On the way, he told us more stories of Robert the Bruce and the battle. This was a 2 day battle- quite long for the early 1300s. Not going to go too much into it, but bottom line, Robert the Bruce and the Scottish army kicked some English ass, and the result was that England finally formally recognized Scotland as independent, and Robert the Bruce the rightful king. Yay!!! 😍 (Spoiler alert: That didn’t last.) Oh! And on the way, I got to see the kelpie statues at 60mph on the bus!!
This is really what Robert the Bruce looked like! How do we know? Because when they found him in the 1800s, they made a cast of his skull before they reburied him. New technology took that skull and used it to recreate his face! That rendition was used on this statue.
Next stop, Stirling Castle. We had an hour and a half here, and I could see from the outside that this place needed waaaaaay more time than that! Despite being almost at the back of the bus, I made my way to the front of the line and was first to get my tickets! My goal was to jump in on the guided tour, so I could get a history lesson of this place. The tour was good, but a little too long winded. It was right at an hour, and we didn’t even go into the royal chambers of the palace!! I finally had to ditch out at the end of the tour, with my apologies, but explained that the bus was coming soon and I needed to make a quick run through the rest of the place. The guide understood and pointed me in the direction of the royal apartments. I practically had to run through there. Super quick history lesson: Most people think Edinburgh Castle is the most important castle in Scotland. Arguably, it’s probably Stirling. Rising imposingly above the landscape below, with cliffs on 3 sides, it was a defensive force to be reckoned with. It was a royal place since the 1100s. Look, a lot went on here over the centuries…at least 8 sieges, changing of hands as different countries and forces took control, building and remodeling….more than I can go into. But I seriously HIGHLY recommend this castle. I recommend that you do the guided tour to get the history, and then give yourself at least an hour after that to wander around and explore the things that aren’t shown on the tour (which is quite a bit).
William Wallace is famous for his decisive victory at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. His monument is on the left, on top of that hill. The river (that the bridge the battle was named for was over) on the right.
Why I love my mega zoom camera. 🙂 The William Wallace monument as seen from Stirling Castle.
Beautiful gardens. And check out all of the renaissance statues lined the castle wall. So unusual!
That yellow building looks so weird and out of place, and honestly I didn’t like it. But apparently the whole damn castle used to be this color, called ochre- basically gold to show wealth! They restored it to its original color based on paint fragments they found.
With all the sieges, not all of the statues made it out with their lives! Look at the one with its head missing. You can see the bullet holes in the wall behind it.
Inside the great hall
Queen’s chambers. I’m shocked this wasn’t blurred, as fast as I was running through there and snapping pics!
Check out this ceiling! Beautiful!
Back on the bus to the last stop- Rosslyn Chapel. This was another one of those places, like Real Mary King’s Closeitdown (that’s my new nickname for that place….), where you couldn’t take any pictures. Ok, seriously people. The freaking POPE couldn’t stop me from taking pics on the sly of the Sistine Chapel, so uh, yeah. If I’m not using flash and not harming anything AND paying to see it….shush it. There was a talk when we arrived. Everyone entered the chapel, which is freaking magnificently intricate and stunning by the way, and sat on the pews to listen. Construction started in 1456, and it was never completed. But damn, what they managed to finish is out of this world! The stonework is second to none that I’ve ever seen anywhere. You could stare at this thing for a year and still not see all of the details. Breathtaking. Seriously. Not being much for pew warming, I got up and wandered around during the talk (the talker guy said we could- I wasn’t being disrespectful). It was like having the place to myself! Got great shots outside without people in them. And…well….yeah….inside, too. Shhhhhhhhh. 🤐 And FYI, if you’re going to let some Hollywood yahoos come in and film the freaking Da Vinci Code in here, me and my Samsung Galaxy 7 (because I’m too cheap to upgrade to the 9!), should be just fine. I used the phone instead of the big camera. A wee bit less obvious. 🙂 If you have a chance, go to this. Seeing pictures in NO WAY does it justice. You can’t get any concept of the intricacy and elaborateness of the carvings.
Cat photo bomb! 🙂
I love all of the gargoyles! This one looks part octopus!
I don’t know what in the hell this is depicting, but I love it!
A bus ride back to Edinburgh. This was a 7.5 hour tour, I had packed a pepperoni stick and a granola bar for lunch, but I was hungry for something different. What to do, what to do…OINK!! 🐷 That was the restaurant I saw on Victoria Street (Diagon Alley) on Day 8 with the pig in the window! Hating to sit down in a restaurant, I figured I could just get something to go. I walked in and looked at the menu. It was in 4 parts:
1. What size? You had 3 choices- piglet, oinker, or grunter.
2. What bread? 2 choices- white or brown
3. What stuffing? 2 choices- haggis or sage and onion
4. What sauce? There were like 5 choices, applesauce, mustard, bbq, etc…
Ok, took me about a minute to figure out my combination. I stepped up to the counter and said the following, “I would like an oinker on white bread with sage and onion and applesauce.” The young guy behind the counter looked at me and said, “Do you know how nice it is for someone to tell me exactly what they want?” I leaned over, put my hand to my mouth and pretend whispered, “I’m a traveler, not a tourist.” He grinned and said, “Ohhhh! That’s what it is!” We laughed. He said he understands menu questions/problems when people don’t speak English, but most DO speak English and can’t figure it out. I said, “Well, to be fair, not everyone who speaks English speaks Scottish!” He and the other kid behind the counter almost died! We had a good chuckle at that, I got my pig sammy, and headed back to the apartment. Damn, I love Scottish people. 🙂
When I got back to the apartment last night, I told my host about my trip to Stirling, and how I was planning on going to Edinburgh Castle tomorrow. She said don’t do it. Not worth the 20 pounds. Oh no!! Always one to seek out a second opinion, I went to one of my favorite facebook groups since I’ve been in Scotland- Scottish Travel Society. I asked what they thought, and the overwhelming advice was GO! And tucked into all of the responses was a wee gem of information….queues to see the Crown Jewels are 30-45 minutes long, go early. Go early, ye say?? Early is my specialty!! I immediately went online to buy my tickets for 9:30 entry- when they open.
Woke up and heard the rain outside. No worries, I was expecting it. Did some work, wrapped my camera in a plastic bag and put it in my day pack along with water and snacks, and left at 840. Goal: to be first in line at Edinburgh Castle! By the time I got outside, the rain was a misty drizzle. My foggy breaths in the chilly air added to the low white-gray skies. Zero wind. It was nice! Only locals on the streets, and that made it even better. Once I reached the royal mile, there were a few neon flashing tourists, but not a lot. Worked my way up to the castle, and I’m proud to announce… GOAL ACHIEVED! First in line at 855! There’s a method to this madness. Yes, I have to wait in line for 35 minutes until it opens. This is so I don’t have to wait in line to see the crown jewels. So Mary, you’re waiting in line so you don’t have to wait in line? Yes. I don’t mind waiting in line IF I’m first in line! 🙂
The line was steadily building with <insert dramatic doom music>….tourists. There was a sign at the front of the line (I know, because I was standing in front of it!). This is it. I know it’s complicated, but see if you can decipher it…
Now, I wasn’t blocking this sign. It was in plain sight. I shit you not, a line formed BEHIND that sign and a dozen people asked the extremely nice man who was letting people in to go to work at the castle, the same question in succession- “when can we go in and where do we get tickets?” He patiently explained every. single. time…The castle opens at 9:30 (freaking DUH!). Get your tickets at the castle. Next person steps up and asks the same question practically word for word! Can’t they hear the person directly in front of them being answered? JESUS! I asked the guy, “How many times a day do you answer that?” he laughed, rolled his eyes, and said, “If I had a pound for every time…” After that, every time someone would ask that (I’m not kidding, dozens of times over the next 20 minutes- it was far beyond ridiculous), we’d exchange a glance and grin. I guess the sign is in Scottish (day 10 joke!). The line to get in was getting insane. Both sides of the sidewalk covered for quite a ways by 9:20.
Now, here’s where it gets good. It’s 9:26- I know because I was blogging this while waiting 🙂 . He walks up to me and says, “Do you have your ticket?”. I explained that I bought it online and needed to pick it up. He explained that I would go behind the little guard shack and there was a kiosk there. Put in my confirmation number, no dashes, and print my ticket. I told him thank you. He said, “Go.” I asked, “Now?”- it was still a little early. He nodded. I figured the whole line was going to get to go. Um, no. VIP, baby!! I went to the kiosk. It took me about a minute to dig out my info, enter, it and print the ticket. He STILL hadn’t let anyone it! Here I am, ticket in hand, no one at the kiosk next to me!!
It says ADULT…don’t be fooled. 😉
So I go to the little walkway that leads up to the castle, give the guy a huge smile. He sees me, and starts to let the others in. I had to snap a picture of it!! The guy literally gave me a head start!! Today’s lesson. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Take responsibility for yourself and what you are doing. Don’t expect the world to hold your wee hand and guide you through everything. Be nice to people. Have I mentioned I LOVE Scottish people!!! 🙂
So I walk up to the castle- fast. The herd of sheep were approaching! I see bag search in the distance, pull off my day pack, unzip everything so it’s ready (because I’m not an idiot and take responsibility for myself and what I am doing!). Breeze through. Walk in through the castle gates. No one but employees. 🙂
I get through the gate and ask the guy that was in the yellow vest in that picture where the crown jewels are. People, I do not have time to stop for a map. I do not have time to dick around with an audio guide. I sure as hell don’t have time for a browse through the gift shop (I NEVER have time for that!). I am a woman on a mission!! He gives me super complicated directions. I just followed his hand gesture for the first step- go right. Went right and up an incline. There were people there to scan my ticket. There was NO ONE behind me. The last 10 feet or so to these people, I ran, flailing my arms and grinning like an idiot saying “FIRST ONE IN!!!!!!”. They laughed, scanned my ticket, and gave me my next set of directions to the crown jewels. When I went around the next turn. I was in here completely by myself- I couldn’t see another soul (except for a few employees scattered about). The streets were empty. It was amazing! Along the way, I hastily snapped shots, knowing that there was no way I would be able to take them devoid of people in a few minutes from now. I asked for my next set of directions. Up the hill and through the gap and it would be across from me. Perfect. Found the gap.
The ticket scanners. They either thought I was an insane American or just hilarious….or both. 😉
The gap. 🙂
Huffing and puffing from a fast walk up a hill, I came to the gap. And when I passed through it… WOW. I was all alone in a massive courtyard surrounded by massive buildings on every side. And sure enough, across the courtyard was the door to the crown jewels!
Crown jewels are through that door at the bottom of the tower and up the stairs.
I triumphantly (I swear, no king or queen that ever lived here in over a thousand years was ever prouder or more full of themselves!!) marched up the stairs and walked into a darkened room.. There was just me, two guards, and the crown jewels. I joked and said, “Man! I thought that if I got here early enough I could just pocket them and be on my way!”. They laughed and said it didn’t exactly work that way. 😉 Wow. Just wow. It was all so beautiful. The crown, the scepter, the sword, the jewelry- all from the late 1400s-1500s!! And while those things were dazzling, I’m not much of a flashy kind of girl. What I had really come to see was a block of stone that looked like some old piece of cement. Not flashy, and not royal looking in the least. But oh……the history! The Stone of Destiny! It’s ancient, making the crown jewels look like some modern idea! And this stone has been present at the coronation of all kings of Scotland!! Now, if you remember that rat bastard English King from Day 10, Edward I, he took the stone back to England after he conquered Scotland and had it built into the English throne- showing that the king of England was also the king of Scotland (in case anyone was confused!). It was STOLEN from England in the 1950s by some Scottish students, who brought it back to Scotland. They kinda broke it in the process, but it’s been restored- both as a stone AND to Scotland!! YAY!! Of course, since English monarchs also rule Scotland, when there is a coronation, it is taken back to England for the ceremony, then returned to its place in the tower. Amazing. This isn’t my picture, but here’s what I saw.
I went through the exit and saw that the royal chambers were closed for renovation! How disappointing! I stepped into the courtyard, fully expecting it to be full of people by now. Nothing. No one. I couldn’t believe it! How was that even possible?! And then I knew how it was possible. The droves of tourists were still running around like drunken ants at the bottom of the hill. No idea where to go, what to do. Trying to figure out how to get their tickets, how to get an audio guide, going to the potty, having a turn around the gift shop. And that left me all alone. Still. A queen for a few moments in Edinburgh Castle. Queen Mary. 👑 A queen who didn’t have to hear anyone’s spoiled brats screaming and whining. A queen who didn’t have to fight off the urge to grab a selfie stick from someone fluffing their hair and making duck lips and beat them to death with it (if I were queen, that would so be the punishment for selfie sticks!! HEAR YE, HEAR YE!! DAILY SELFIE STICK FLOGGINGS AT THE MERCAT CROSS- IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY EXECUTIONS OF THOSE FOUND GUILTY OF FIXING THEIR HAIR AND POSING OBNOXIOUSLY!!).
Peace. Solitude. Silence. History. All mine for a few precious moments. I went into the War Memorial. Silence, completely alone except for 3 employees. I then wandered out through the other side of the courtyard and saw a sign that said, “Crown Jewels History”. I’M THERE! I went in, and it was a wonderfully done museum of sorts about the history of the crown jewels! And I had it all to myself. It was in here, when I saw the model of Robert the Bruce being crowned, that it really hit me. I had this to myself. I got emotional. Not “I feel a connection” emotional like on the Culloden Battlefield, but emotion that stemmed from the fact that I was having an experience very, very few people ever get to have in this place. And I was grateful and appreciative for it. In this place it dawned on me…I’m not on holiday. I’m on adventure.
By the time I got out of this area, people were slowly filing into the courtyard. I wandered around through the several different museums (mainly dedicated to war relics, which I’m not really terribly interested in, but I did a fair walk though. The Highland Soldiers area I thought was the most interesting of them.) that are on the grounds. I took some pictures of the spectacular views from this hilltop perch. The drunken ants had finally invaded my picnic…
Cannon eye’s view…
Not sure what this area is exactly (I think it’s a hill whose name starts with C, but I’m not sure). Looks fascinating! But I don’t have time to explore it, I fear. 🙁
After all of the museums, I wandered around to see if there was anything I had missed. I found the prisons, they were pretty interesting! They had been used for a few centuries… By the time I got out of there, the line for the crown jewels was all the way across the courtyard. All this within about an hour and 15 minutes of opening at 9:30 on a Thursday…
Prisoners from the American War of Independence were held here! This carving shows a very, very early “stars and stripes” flag on a prison door!
The prison was more like a barracks instead of individual cells. Hammocks hung up.
The ants falling in line… I took this from the door to the crown jewels.
I then went into the great hall which was pretty packed with people. I don’t know why, because god knows I’m not a “home decor” kind of person, but the lamps really intrigued me for some reason!
Lastly, I went into St. Margaret’s Chapel (you’ll remember her from such renowned and acclaimed works like…Day 10 😉 ). This is the oldest building of the castle, built in 1130! St. Margaret lived at the castle until her death in the late 1000’s. Wow.
And really, that was it. I had spent an hour and 45 minutes in here with basically no lines into anything. If I had been more interested in the war museums, I probably could have spent 2.5-3.5 hours in here. With lines for tickets, crown jewels, etc… 4. Plan accordingly. I headed out, completely pleased with myself in every way imaginable. I am SO glad I went!!
I had about 30 minutes before my Harry Potter tour started at noon. I slowly walked the Royal Mile, just soaking in the experience I had just had, and enjoying the beauty of Edinburgh. It really is a stunning city…
Next, I went on a free Harry Potter Walking Tour with Potter Trail. I told the guide (a wonderful young lady from Los Angeles, actually!) that I own an online school, that I teach Harry Potter Genetics, and that my students were going to go CRAZY for this!! She was so happy to be doing a talk for “academic purposes”! 🙂 In other words, this is another time where I did a lot of filming and not a lot of picture taking. But let me tell you, this tour was GREAT!! So much fun, so much information. I really, really enjoyed the heck out of it, and my tip at the end reflected my appreciation. 🙂 #notalwaysacheapass
The school Hogwarts is based on- just on the other side of Greyfriar’s Kirkyard (cemetery). #creepy
Thomas Riddle (Voldemort’s!) grave- the inspiration for the name
The Elephant House- where JK Rowling wrote some of the books
Here’s a quiz…how do wizard’s communicate in the wizarding world? OWLS! And a lady on another Scottish facebook group that I love, The Land Called Scotland, told me that I should look for the owls on the Royal Mile, and tell “her” owl, Hazel, that she had met on a trip, hello. I found the place, Gladstone’s Land, which just so happens to be one of the oldest buildings on the Royal Mile, dating back to the 1500s. And I found the owls! Oh, but they were beautiful, majestic creatures! I didn’t hold one, but I did snap some shots.
Wise indeed.
I had been at it since 8:40 am. It was now after 2. I was hungry! And decided now was the time….to….SIT DOWN IN A REAL RESTAURANT!! 😱 If you read this blog, you know I freaking hate to a) eat alone b) spend money on food. So restaurants are generally a big nope when I’m traveling. However, I do like to try local food at least once. And what is the local food of Scotland? Haggis, of course!! And not just haggis. But something called neeps and tatties that go with it. Look, I had a fair inkling about what is in haggis (sheep intestines). But I had zero clue what neeps and tatties were. I was afraid they were words for something too heinous to even call by their real names. I was afraid to google it for fear of being put off by the entire scenario. Ok, I’m going to pull up my slip and let my ignorance show here….I honestly thought neeps were probably sheep nuts and tatties might be sheep udders. Ok, ok- all you Scots….get off the floor and compose yourself! I’m a haggis virgin. I didn’t know!! So I confidently (which means I hid my social awkwardness as much as possible, but geeky still shone through 🤓 ) strode into Whiski Bar and Restaurant on the Royal Mile. Ordered haggis with neeps & tatties, expecting the worst. I watched the world cup while I awaited my impending disgust. (Note: I know about as much about the World Cup as I do neeps and tatties- this is literally the only time I’ve seen any of them.). I was served. I took a bite. Mmmmmmm! This isn’t bad at all! In fact, it’s good! I quickly figured out that a neep or a tattie is mashed potato (I’m guessing tattie). I later researched and found out that neeps are yellow turnips! Whew! Nothing to fear there! I ate it all. It was about $18.50 with a coke. Over half my grocery budget for the last week, but hey, I am a haggis virgin no more! (Sorry, fellows 😉 ).
Was I tipsy when I took this? Nah. Only angle I could get the tv, bar, and haggis all in one shot! 😛
We then moved into the torture room, where the guide described some of the methods in gruesome detail. How did they know you were a witch back then? Well, being a woman was a pretty sure sign. And if you were accused, you were as good as dead. He didn’t mention it, but it was the church’s way of keeping women under strict control. Oh, the church…spreading love, acceptance, and independent thinking for 2000+ years. #puke By the way, that little comment would have gotten me KILLED back in the day. 🔥 ☠ Blasphemers, if they weren’t killed outright, would have their tongues split in half…marking them for life as a blasphemers. They would basically be outcast from society. OMG, can you believe that?? Uh oh, I’m dead again. 🔥☠ OMG is blasphemy- lord’s name in vain.
Ok, I have to say, I wasn’t exactly 100% thrilled with the tour. There really wasn’t as much focus on witches as I wanted. I really wanted a story with a bit more continuity and flow. But I will say, the guy was super passionate about the topics he presented! They just weren’t all directly related to witches (at least my perception of them). After about 2 hours, we reached the end of the tour. He said we could go outside with him and practice divination, or end the tour here. We had about 20 people. 6 of us went with him. And OMG (#deadagain 🔥☠), I am SO glad I did!! This was the best part of the whole damn tour!
Ok, here’s the deal with this place. It has the potential to be AMAZING. It is literally a slice of history. And it makes me SICK how they utilize it. The close (remember, that’s one of those super narrow streets) is named after a woman, Mary King, who was kind of a big deal in Edinburgh in the 1600s. Some kind of businesswoman or something, and her husband left her a lot of money and a house on the close, and she squandered it. I don’t know. The whole thing was impossible to follow. Anyway, the plague swept through this area, a bunch of people died. In the late 1700s, the close was covered up and partially destroyed to build the huge Royal Exchange building on top of it. It was uncovered at some point, and now tours are given. If I could come down here with a true historian, I know I’d be captivated. I don’t know what this guide was, but he wasn’t a historian… Anyway…
I went through the exit and saw that the royal chambers were closed for renovation! How disappointing! I stepped into the courtyard, fully expecting it to be full of people by now. Nothing. No one. I couldn’t believe it! How was that even possible?! And then I knew how it was possible. The droves of tourists were still running around like drunken ants at the bottom of the hill. No idea where to go, what to do. Trying to figure out how to get their tickets, how to get an audio guide, going to the potty, having a turn around the gift shop. And that left me all alone. Still. A queen for a few moments in Edinburgh Castle. Queen Mary. 👑 A queen who didn’t have to hear anyone’s spoiled brats screaming and whining. A queen who didn’t have to fight off the urge to grab a selfie stick from someone fluffing their hair and making duck lips and beat them to death with it (if I were queen, that would so be the punishment for selfie sticks!! HEAR YE, HEAR YE!! DAILY SELFIE STICK FLOGGINGS AT THE MERCAT CROSS- IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY EXECUTIONS OF THOSE FOUND GUILTY OF FIXING THEIR HAIR AND POSING OBNOXIOUSLY!!).
By the time I got out of this area, people were slowly filing into the courtyard. I wandered around through the several different museums (mainly dedicated to war relics, which I’m not really terribly interested in, but I did a fair walk though. The Highland Soldiers area I thought was the most interesting of them.) that are on the grounds. I took some pictures of the spectacular views from this hilltop perch. The drunken ants had finally invaded my picnic…
