by Mary Middlebrook | Aug 6, 2018 | Romania
So the wifi still isn’t fixed. Sigh. And I had some work that I really needed to get done this morning. Oh well, what can I do? I know! Go to the botanical garden! 🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷😀
It was a little less than a mile, so I walked. I’m telling you, the vibe of Cluj-Napoca is AWESOME!! It’s a university town, so that brings such a different feel to it. It’s just so busy and modern and cafes and younger people and…just cool! All of that, in a setting of beautiful buildings! Seriously, I could move here. Every modern amenity right at your doorstep, and the whole of Romania to explore just outside!
This is what I call a “cake” building. Decorations look like delicate icing!
Arrived at the gates of the botanical garden, and paid something really cheap- maybe like 10 lei ($2.50) to get in. WOW!! What a beautiful garden! It’s been around for almost 150 years, and is now a part of the university. And for being in the middle of the city, it’s pretty darn big- 14 hectares (34 acres!). When you first walk in, you enter the “Ornamental Garden”. It’s so nicely landscaped, and the flowers just just lovely!
This is the statue of the founder of the gardens- Alexandru Borza
Continuing down the path, you come to a large building, that is the botanical museum. A botanical museum? Hmmm. I stepped inside and was the only one in the building. And OH. MY. GOD. Talk about super cool old school botany!! I’ve seen labs like this for animals (especially for fish and invertebrates when I was studying marine biology at Texas A&M at Galveston), but NEVER for plants!! There was row upon row upon row of preserved specimens. Some in jars, some dried, some pressed. There were fossils. There was EVERYTHING!!! And it was mine, all mine!! Oh, but my little science geek heart was in heaven! 🤓😇 What a fun and unexpected find!
The rose garden is in front of the museum building
The garden is separated out into a bunch of different manicured gardens, each with a particular focus. But there is plenty of “wild” here, too. With huge trees and overgrown brush, a little stream, and lots of trails wandering in and out. You really felt like you were miles away from any kind of civilization.
Japanese Garden
I got to this and turned my happy ass right around. Bridges…there’s always a bridge… Dear Romania, Bridges should have ALL of the slats! Love, Mary
Manicured gardens, a botanical museum, wild areas….what more could you ask for? How about GREENHOUSES!! They were HUGE and just beautiful!! Some of them were closed, but there was a complex with 3 really big ones joined together with a main building that were open.
Like seriously, these were so big that I could have laid in them and not touched the edges!
I spent about an hour and a half in the gardens and loved every second of it (well, except for that bridge!). And now it was lunch time and I was starving!! I headed back into town to try to find some Romanian food. Came across a little cafe (I suck for not remembering the name of it!!), where the menus were in English and the waitress spoke English as well. I ordered a plate that had 4 cabbage rolls with some kind of minced meat inside, a piece of ham, and something that looked like sauerkraut but was not. It was WAY better than sauerkraut! All of that for I think 15 lei ($4.25).
Came back to the airbnb and YES!! The wifi was back up and running!! Did some work and blogging and packed up for tomorrow. 😭😭 But no time for crying! I still had one more Romanian adventure up my sleeve for the evening….a night tour of Hoia Baciu- one of the most haunted forests in the world…👻👽💀😲 Of course, Brian was thrilled to death that I was going into some dark ass haunted forest in the middle of the night alone with some Romanian guy I found on the internet. 🙄 You picked a traveler for a fiancee, babe. #dealwithit
I met Alex of the Hoia Baciu Project at 7pm for our 4 hour tour. The main reason I was going was to get some creepy stories and do some filming for my “Fantastic Beasts” class. When I got in the car, Alex asked me what I knew about the forest. I told him that I hadn’t done a lot of research, because I don’t like to go into adventures with a ton of expectations, but I knew that it was very haunted. He immediately said, “It’s not haunted unless you bring your own ghosts.” Um, ok, that’s not what’s plastered all over your website. Way to IMMEDIATELY kill the vibe of a haunted forest tour before we even get to the damn forest. Minus 5 points….
We parked along the road outside of town at the bottom of a really big hill. At the top was the forest. We started hiking up, and soon reached a place where there was a hole through the trees- the portal to Hoia Baciu.
Forest at the top of the hill
View of the Cluj suburbs from the top
In we go!
Once you step in, it’s almost like the forest closes in behind you. We didn’t walk too far until we arrived at a clearing. Not just any clearing- THE clearing. This is supposedly the most paranormal place in the forest. And this is where I’ll give a bit of an explanation. I am a logical person. I am a scientific person- with a science degree and I teach science. I live off of rational thought, not emotions. And on the flip side of that, I have had this weird ability to see and feel and know things other people can’t since I was extremely young. In fact, my first memories are from around 3 or 4 years of age and having “experiences”. And they have continued throughout my adult life. It’s not something I experience every day. It’s not something I pursue. It’s not something I enjoy. It’s not something I want. I was taught that they were bad and I would go to hell, so I quit talking about them and kept them to myself for many years. As an adult, I found out I was adopted. And lo and behold, it “runs” in the family. That said, I didn’t come into this forest looking to find something or expecting to feel anything. I’ve been in places that are supposedly super duper haunted and felt nothing, I’ve been in normal places and felt all kinds of things. No control over it (which is why it’s not my favorite personality trait…).
So back to this clearing. It’s this huge area where there’s nothing but some grass. No trees at all. It’s literally like there’s some kind of force keeping the trees from taking root inside. I will say, it does look really odd and out of place. There are stories of UFOs and ghosts and all kind of things here. Alex showed me some pictures and give me a little information about the legends. I told Alex someone should come in there and do soil samples and try to figure it out- maybe there is a chemical reason behind why the trees don’t grow here. Because I will ALWAYS default to a scientific and logical explanation over a paranormal one.
People come into the clearing and camp and do rituals and things…here’s a fire ring left behind
That little gap between the trees is supposed to be the most haunted area of the clearing
We went inside the gap. There was this weird zig zag tree that some researcher on Hoia Baciu claims was perfectly straight 20 years ago. Alex and I don’t believe that for a second.
Inside the forest looking toward the clearing. You can see how the plants just stop at the perimeter. Weird.
After we went through that clearing, Alex asked me if I was sensitive to paranormal things (I hadn’t offered the information). I told him yes, and that I felt nothing there. We continued on. As we walked and talked, I learned that Alex loves this forest. Like seriously LOVES it, and feels very protective of it. I could tell he really didn’t like the whole “haunted” moniker that it has, even though that’s what he’s built his business around. He seemed truly fascinated by the forest, and in a weird way, bonded with it. And I felt like it was bonded with him as well. But more on that later…. We passed by a lot of weird trees, growing in patterns that really didn’t make much sense. I mean, one or two weird trees is one thing. There were weird trees EVERYWHERE! Seemingly growing away from the sun, in arcs, in zig zags. Then we found a mushroom. Alex said to eat it, but just a small piece, because it’s really spicy. What does a solo female traveler do when she’s in a dark forest alone with some guy from Romania she just met an hour ago? Break off a piece and try it! At first, it just tasted like mushroom. But the more I chewed, the more hot peppery tasting it got. So unexpected. Not quite like termites in Belize that tasted exactly like carrots, but interesting none the less! 😋
The “harp” tree
A knot that looks like a face
Peppery!!
Probably the strangest plant phenomenon though was the twisted trees- trees that were literally growing in a spiral. And they were scattered throughout the forest, not just in one place. Of course the paranormal explanation is that its the energy from the spirits or whatever. But there must be a more reasonable explanation. I asked Alex if this was confined to a particular species of tree (that would make sense- genetics!). No. Multiple species exhibit it. Hmmmm. Weird. And it’s most likely not a genetic reason either, because the last picture shows two trees growing out of the same trunk- one completely spiraled, with the most spiraling I had seen on any of the trees, and the other perfectly straight. Explain that shit!! I told him that he had this wonderful botanical department at the university! They needed to come out here and figure it out! He said he had contacted them. They refused to get involved. This place creeps people out and they don’t want to be associated with it. C’mon, Romanian botanists! You’re better than that!!!
Another weird phenomenon we saw more than once was branches that grew down to the ground. That’s right- branches from up above where you couldn’t even reach them would grow straight down to the ground. That makes NO sense!! Plants have hormones that cause them to grow toward the light, not away from it! And the forest wasn’t super crowded with trees, so they weren’t really having to compete for space. This one hit the ground and then instead of growing back up, started growing ALONG the ground. Mind. Boggled.
So the scientist in me was having way more fun in this forest than the paranormal in me. I was fixated on these trees and trying to come up with rational explanations for what I was seeing. It was getting darker and darker, but my eyes adjusted to the light pretty well and I declined use of a flashlight. I had honestly completely forgotten about anything paranormal in my curiosity for these trees. Alex and I were standing there talking about how he, a former physics major, created this business- a topic that I LOVE because I am so passionate about entrepreneurship and really enjoy hearing how people turn their passions into businesses. I could not have had paranormal thoughts further away from my mind. And then, I felt something. It was straight ahead of us on the path, maybe 50 meters up. I couldn’t even see that far, it was too dark, but I could feel exactly where it was. I continued listening to Alex, and then we started walking- toward whatever I was still feeling. I really didn’t want to say anything. Again, this isn’t something I enjoy, and I was having more fun talking about botany and business than boogey-men. Whatever it was wasn’t moving as we approached. But it wasn’t a “person” spirit (don’t ask me how I know, I just know). It was more of an energy, not a spirit. We got closer and closer, and then we walked right through it. I could feel it. I was kind of….I don’t know….crackly- like electricity. But not like electric. Maybe more like that feeling in the air when it’s about to lightening or something. The weather was cloudy, but no storms. We passed through it, and it still didn’t move. It was right in the middle of the path, and maybe covered a diameter (although it wasn’t a perfect circle, I don’t know the shape) of about 4-5 feet. It didn’t feel like a good energy. It didn’t feel like a bad energy. It was completely neutral. Just….energy. As we kept walking, I could now feel it behind me, in the same place as we moved further away.
While we were talking, I snapped a picture toward what I was feeling without saying why. I don’t see anything on the photo, but I wasn’t really expecting to.
Alex was still talking about his business, and I finally had to interrupt him. I told him what I felt. He seemed kind of uncomfortable and said it scared him (which seems weird for a guy who gives tours in a haunted forest!!). I could tell he really didn’t want to talk about it. Ok. 😕 We continued on for a ways, and then turned off of the path and just started walking across the forest floor. We weren’t 3 steps off the path when I felt the energy right on us (we had probably gone 100 meters or so from where it had been). And now it had a feeling. A protective feeling. I got the feeling that it was very protective of Alex and it really didn’t want us to go off of the path. Still, not a “person” feeling to it, like a ghost. Just an energy that was exuding this feeling. I really didn’t want to tell Alex, so I waited until we were almost out of the forest and then told him. I could tell that he still really didn’t want to hear about it, so I dropped it.
The moon was full and shining off of the clouds over the suburbs of Cluj as we emerged from the forest, about 3 hours after we had entered. I don’t know what that was in there. It didn’t scare me at all. It just was.
A few months ago, I never even had Romania on my travel radar. There was a cheap flight from Rome to Bucharest and I needed somewhere kind of inexpensive to spend 10 days before my Switzerland housesit. So, Romania it was! Just like with Hoia Baciu, I came into this country with no expectations. I just went with it. And it never ceased to amaze me at practically every turn! 10 days and I only covered a tiny portion of the country between Bucharest and Cluj-Napoca. But boy, was there a LOT to see!! However, there’s still much, much more to see. Romania is one of those up and coming tourist spots- kind of off the radar now, but it’s starting to get into the sights of many travelers. There’s good and bad to that… Whereas Iceland and Scotland and Ireland have multiple HUGE facebook groups dedicated to traveling there, Romania only has a few, and they aren’t very large. My favorite is Romania Travel, run by Oana. I foresee that group growing and growing in the near future, as travelers learn of the treasure that is Romania, and begin flocking there for more information. I’m glad I beat the flock. I’m glad there was a cheap flight from Rome. I’m glad I chose Romania.
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by Mary Middlebrook | Jul 22, 2018 | Italy
Another day, another plane! We got up at 6, made a pizza for breakfast, packed up, and headed out. Time to say goodbye to Malta. 🙁 Easy trip to the airport, parked the car, dropped the keys, breezed through security, and got to our gate. Boarded my last Ryan air flight of this trip, and am happy to say that my carry on (the big one that is a bit oversize and a few kg over weight) made it on yet again with no issues! Whew! So glad I bought priority boarding for all my budget flights. I think that helps them to look the other way. 😏
Airbnb ($65 a night for our own little apartment next to the metro!) check in was at 3, but I told the host we were landing at 1030, so she graciously agreed to a 1230 check in so we could drop our bags. The train from the airport to Termini station was 14 euros each and a half hour trip. From there, we walked the little over half mile to the bnb. Checked in, dropped our bags, and hit the street for FOOD! Ok. Here’s how lame I am. I’ve really been wanting fried chicken (lame when in Italy, yes, but it’s the result of weeks of peanut butter sandwiches!!). Darling Brian saw a chicken place on our walk to the bnb, so we headed back there and had fast food halal chicken, about 2 steps down from KFC, but worth it. 🍗 Sometimes, it’s the little comforts when you’ve been traveling for weeks on end…
We had a tour scheduled for 6pm, which gave us about 5 hours to cram in as much Rome as we could. We really only had a day and a half here. Why the heck such a short time? Because flights back to Los Angeles for Brian were cheapest from Rome, so it made better sense to fly to Rome from Malta, then to LA. Plus, I got a cheap flight to Romania out of there as well, so win-win. I had spent several days in Rome last year, so I had done the major “must sees”. Brian and I were going to fill in the gaps. But there are some things that MUST be done “when in Rome”. First up, Brian HAD to be able to cross off The Vatican as a country on his
Been app. He had no interest in the Sistene Chapel or any of that (and I had done it last year), so we literally hopped the metro, walked to the Vatican, got within the walls, and Brian checked off his app. I asked him if he wanted a pope magnet? A pope necklace? A pope keychain? A pope soap on a rope? Pope nope was his response to each. 😝 See that line of people? All standing in heat that is a degree or two less than hell itself to get into the Vatican. Last year, I bought early entrance, skip the line. It’s the only way to go. You couldn’t pay me to stand in that line… We did get one souvenir from the Vatican- a free water bottle refill…(now, with holy water! 😇) I love all of the fountains around Rome…
Ah, the Vatican. So humble. Just like the story of Jesus riding into Jerusalem in a Bugatti to stay at his 50,000 square foot gilded palace for the weekend… Keep tithing, Catholics! It’s for Jesus!
We didn’t burst into flames upon drinking it. We deem it #heathensafe
Next, we crossed the Tiber River and walked through the city to the Piazza Navona, with it’s beautiful water fountains. This is another of my “been there, done that” moments, but it was still fun to show it to Brian for the first time!
Wound our way around to the Pantheon. Another “biggie” that I checked off last year. And frankly, the one site that really upset me. This was built by the ROMANS. It is AMAZING. But oh no, the unoriginal Christians had to jump in there and turn it into some shrine for saints. Like damn kids who just HAVE to mess with wet cement….I find it revolting and blasphemous to history. Do not get me started on this place… 😡
Look at that gorgeous original Roman brick- standing for over 1900 years…
The Pantheon…a ROMAN TEMPLE. Roman.
Ancient Christian graffiti artists painting over gorgeous original Roman brick…
More walking and gawking. When you’re in Rome, it is imperative that you look down every single narrow street, because you never know what you might find! Like this Roman building incorporated into a “modern” structure. GORGEOUS! Or just a pile of amazing Roman ruins, waiting there like they’re waiting for the empire to rise again and restore them to their former glory…
It was super hot, and about a mile back to the bnb. We decided to take the bus. Not sure who the Roman God of public transportation is, but he/she was apparently displeased with us. The bus pulled in, and we got on. It was jam. packed. Like could not move. We didn’t even make it past the place where the driver was sitting, and a bunch of people got on right behind us. I was trying not to freak out. I could do this for 10 stops. Really. Until at the next stop where no one got off and more people crammed in- to the point that the doors could barely close. What the fuck?! It was so hot, you could barely breathe. People were crammed so close together that you couldn’t move. My claustrophobia isn’t terrible, but it exists, and it was taking all of my willpower to have an anxiety attack. Brian was trying to reassure me. Finally, we got to the Colosseum stop, and just like I thought, a ton of people piled off. We were able to sit down. I will NEVER take a bus in Rome again. Ever.
Chilled at the bnb for a bit, then headed out on the metro to meet up with our tour for the evening. This was something a little different- a tour of the Capuchin Monastery bone crypt and the Priscilla Catacombs with Walks of Italy. Our guide was Melanie. And from the get go, I knew she was gooood. You could feel the passion for the history emanating off of her, and I was soaking it in! Now, the bad news- we couldn’t take pictures in either of these places because the church wants to make money and have you buy photos in the souvenir shop wants you to respect the dead. Good old Christian hypocrisy at its best. Normally, I would take pictures anyway, because if you are selling pictures, it has NOTHING to do with respect. If you don’t respect the dead, why should I? (And why should dead people be respected anyway? It’s not like they care…). However, I did respect Melanie, and didn’t want her getting into trouble. So I didn’t even try to sneak one. That said, let’s “dig in” to the history of these two places (grave pun 🙃 ), and I’ll use other pictures from off the internet so you can see what I’m talking about.
First up, the Capuchin Monastery. Melanie wove the history of these monks in a way that had me completely captivated. A lot of times I’m super interested in a tour. Rarely am I CAPTIVATED. That, my friends, is the difference between knowledge and passion. Ok, so let me try to recap this history in a nutshell… There were all of these Franciscan monks, who were supposed to be all pious and humble and taking care of the poor and shit. Oh, and chaste. Most of them decided those rules were more like “suggestions”, so they tended to take the opposite approach. #typical One group of Franciscans in the 1500s though were firm believers in the rules, and they were kinda making the rest of the Franciscans look bad… So the naughty Franciscans, who were moved and humbled by these other monks, decided to turn their lives around and rededicate themselves to the tenants of their order. Oh wait, that’s not what happened. They persecuted the monks who were doing what they were supposed to be doing and forced them to go into hiding. The persecuted monks added a hood to their robes- called a cappuccio (see where we’re going here??). A few years later, they got permission from the pope to travel and preach to the poor. And the order of the Capuchin monks was born. They lived in serious squalor, but that was one of their rules. However, some biggity wiggity that I forget his name came to power in Rome and was kin to one of the biggity wiggity Capuchins, and didn’t want them living in such a horrible run down church (more because it made him look bad than concern for the conditions). So he gave them another place to live. This place we were visiting today.
One little problem…the Capuchins had been burying their dead under their old church (the one that didn’t exit through the gift shop) for about 100 years. So they packed up what paltry possessions they had, and still had a lot of space in their carry on (this was before Ryan Air). So they dug up their fellow monks (THOUSANDS of them), and brought them with, sticking them in the crypts below their new home. And then one day, they got bored or something (no wifi). Someone decided to go down there and arrange the bones. Like pin them to the ceilings and make chandeliers out of them and shit. Vows of poverty do weird things to you…I vow never to be impoverished! And the famous Capuchin crypts were born. The monks come down here to walk, reflect, and pray each evening- as a reminder that life is short. In fact, there’s an inscription… “What you are now, we once were; what we are now, you shall be.” Lovely. Ok, now that you have the 411, here are the pics… It really isn’t as creepy in person.
Out of the crypt, into the catacomb! We all piled into a van and headed off to the next location- the Priscilla Catacombs. Different place, same story. No photos. You have to respect the dead by buying pictures inside of the gift shop, because Jesus. Oy with you Christians… 🙄 So pics aren’t mine. Ok, history lesson time! Ancient Romans cremated their dead. When Christianity came be-bopping along, they were against cremation. After all, you needed that body for the resurrection (frankly, I’d prefer a new body with a smaller butt and better knees for eternity, but whatevz). So the catacombs were born- a series of burial chambers built outside of the city walls. This particular one is about 8 miles of tunnels!! On either side of the tunnel, there are ledges carved into the walls where the bodies would be placed. They’d dig your ledge to fit your body. The catacombs were raided over the centuries, so when they were rediscovered in the 1800s and archaeologists started doing their thing, a lot of destruction had taken place. Bones were strewn everywhere. Remember how adamant these Catholics are about respecting the dead by not taking pictures? Well, yeah…tell that to the pope. Because a massive amount of this destruction was caused in the 1600s when not one but TWO popes sent down treasure hunters. Yeah, now that I think about it, I do remember reading in the Bible that, “He who robs and desecrates the dead shall be blessed with riches, but he who takes a photograph shall be damned for eternity.” Have I mentioned oy with you Christians yet?? 🙄🙄
Image by © MAX ROSSI/Reuters/Corbis
The archaeologists have cleaned up the catacombs. The vast majority of the ledges are now emptied- the bones stored somewhere down here inaccessible to the public. But ledges where dead people once were aren’t the main draw down here…it’s art. Some of the oldest Christian art in the WORLD! Let’s look at two of them….
This one is the oldest known image of Mary and Jesus, dating back to about 150!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!
And this one is probably the oldest painting in the world of the Annunciation (when the angel told Mary her EPT test would be coming out positive).
Soon we were out of the catacombs and back to the land of the living. I can not recommend this tour enough!!!!! Seriously, between the Sistine Chapel/Vatican Museum tour and Coloseum/Forum tour I did last year, this is BY FAR my favorite. And that is 100% because of Melanie. Book with Walks of Italy and ASK FOR MELANIE BY NAME. You will get a guide who admittedly geeks out over this stuff!! Brian said that she reminded him of me- how I get all animated when I’m talking about this kind of stuff. It’s called passion. And it’s what makes a good tour a GREAT tour!!
As we were leaving, I told Brian I really wanted to talk to her about teaching for my school. No sooner were the words out of my mouth, than she started talking to someone next to her (our audio was still on) about making money doing this kind of thing, how it’s her passion, how she TRAINS (aka TEACHES) other guides in the off season….everything I needed to hear to go from tentatively considering approaching her to knowing this was fate! We had a nice conversation. I hope to bring her on board next year! We asked her for a restaurant suggestion. And speaking of fate, she gave us one. I never split one day up into 2 journals, but what happened next deserves its own entry…
CONTINUE TO DAY 1.1
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by Mary Middlebrook | Jul 25, 2018 | Italy
So usually I like to journal one day at a time (great, now I’ll have that tune stuck in my head…). But this one deserves its own post. Last post, I left off at asking our fab tour guide, Melanie, for a restaurant suggestion. We wanted something cozy and romantic, as it would be our big “fancy Rome dinner” outing (no, fast food halal fried chicken for lunch was NOT our one big meal for the trip!!). She suggested a place called Café Propaganda that she likes near the Colosseum. We headed out on foot.
I hadn’t gone to the Colosseum at night last year, and wow, but it was spectacular!!
We walked to Café Propaganda, which was right behind the Colosseum. Got a table for two and perused the menu. The prices were actually quite reasonable! And so cute inside- just what we were looking for! And with a French flair, to boot! We had literally gone through probably 3 dozen or more listings on Google and couldn’t find anything we liked, which is why we asked Melanie…
Brian ordered wine, and I, being the bastion of European culture that I am, ordered water. Still, not fizzy. Because I’m couth like that. And wine is icky-poo. Then they surprised us with these free little appetizer things that looked like tomatoes, but weren’t. Just designed to look like them. Of course, Brian had to pause because he doesn’t like tomatoes….Oy. They were really cheese with some kind of red stuff on the outside, and a sprig of basel. OH. MY. GOD. Um, I’ll take 2 dozen to go. Brian, you want any?? Whatever cheese that was, and I have no idea, it was deeeeelicious.
We ordered an appetizer of Eggplant Parmigiana. I had to coax Brian into that one, because he’s convinced he doesn’t like eggplant (just like he was convinced 2.5 years ago that he didn’t like asparagus, now he eats it every time it’s on sale…men….). In the meantime, they brought us 3 types of bread on a little wooden tray. Holy. Freaking. Moly. They were GOOD! Then, our eggplant. Um, I’m not sure I’ve ever had anything that good in my life!!!! It was AMAZING!!! I wanted a whole bucket of it! I wanted to lick the plate (Brian barely talked me out of it). And even Mr. Picky Veggie declared it delicious!!
Now it was time to wait for our entrees. We were sitting there talking, and then things get kind of blurry. I’ll do my best here. So we’re sitting there talking, and he puts his elbows on the table and reaches his hands toward mine. I take his hands. This isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then he says something like, “If we’re going to do this we need a ring.”, and proceeds to put an AWESOME octopus tentacle ring on my right ring finger. Ok, now I’m confused. Words aren’t matching actions. We did the octopus ring thing (different type of ring) at a castle in France a couple of years ago, and that was just a ring for Christmas, on my right hand. Was this a repeat? What was happening? Everything was foggy. So, typical black and white, get to the point, logical me blurts out, “Are you asking me to marry you?”. That was an affirmative! OMG! And I’m not even #knockedup!!! I told him WRONG FINGER and moved it to my left hand. So hypothetically, I think I’m engaged to myself now… What you have to understand is that this is so us. Dorky. Awkward. Unconventional. Seriously lacking in seriousness. In other words, the perfect proposal! And did I mention it’s on Friday, July 13?? What could POSSIBLY go wrong?! 😛
Brian and I have been talking about getting married for a while now. I remember the first time it even popped in my head was shortly after we got together and I was in France. I was in the Musee de Beaux Arts in Lille, and there was a thing where you could write wishes on a wall. I don’t even know where it came from, but I wrote that I would want to marry Brian. That is TOTALLY not me. And then, when I went to London right after that, and was in the garden of King Henry VIII’s castle, there were these trees that I thought would be perfect to marry Brian under- very Alice in Wonderlandesque. Of course, Henry VIII’s court probably isn’t the best place for wedding planning….but I digress.
Now, for the super weird part. Two nights before this, I had a dream that we were getting married and could not find a place for the ceremony. We were searching all over the world. This is not something I have dreams about. But it was real enough that I mentioned it to Brian the next morning, and even brought it up a few more times over the next couple of days. Was I having a premonition? Was Brian giving off wedding vibes that I was picking up on? Hmmmmmm….🤔
Oh yeah! Food!! The main dishes came. I got Carbonara melted tortello with pecorino cheese and salted zabaglione mousse. That’s how cultured I am. Or….Melanie had mentioned pecorino cheese was a very local thing, I saw it, and ordered it. One of those. Brian got homemade potatoes gnocchi with clams, asparagus (yeah, that veggie he was convinced he hated 2.5 years ago…) and saffron. God damn, but we are FANCY!! And it was GOOD! And honest to god, each of those entrees were like $20 each. Which really is not bad at all.
So, I reckon we’re hitched. And we’re both excited about it! Thank god his pickiness only extends to food and not women! 😜 The only regret I have is that we didn’t tell the waiter what had happened! We might have gotten a free dessert or something!!!! #alwaysacheapass And that, my friends, is the moment that I turned into one of THOSE girls. Holy crap. I have a natural inclination toward planning (which is why I’m such a good traveler!), so wedding planning snapped into place! We decided on a travel themed wedding. That was about it before he had to go back home. Left to myself and my own devices over the past several days, I have managed to figure out rings, the venue (our home after we finish the remodel- no need to search the entire world like in my dream!), looking at dress ideas (the fact that EVERYWHERE I TURN there is a wedding dress doesn’t help, as you will see on upcoming blogs), and music to walk in to and walk out to. One of THOSE girls. #cringe This, from a chick who never gave a ding dong damn about any of that stuff before, shunned the very idea, etc… We’re still 1-2 years out from anything happening. We still have to get the blessing of a tax attorney and accountant. If they say “nope, not financially beneficial”, then we’ll just do a commitment ceremony. We don’t need a piece of paper. And whatever we’ll do, we’ll do on the cheap. And I mean CHEAP. We are not ones to go blowing a bunch of money on such things. Except the honeymoon- because money is for TRAVELING!!!! Oh, who I am fooling. I’ll have us in some $17 a night hostel somewhere eating peanut butter sandwiches. But, since it’s our honeymoon, I’ll let him splurge on honey to put on his. He likes that. That is true love. 💞
CONTINUE TO DAY 2
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by Mary Middlebrook | Jul 25, 2018 | Italy
And now I present to you, the latest in the “Mary feels like crap while traveling the world” series….sigh.
Yes, it’s only Day 2, but it’s already our last day in Rome! Woke up and headed out as engaged peoples instead of just boyfriend and girlfriend at about 9am. 😍 We had a few things on our list to get done this morning before our tour of the Colosseum and Forum at 1:40. The plan was to get everything done, do our 2.5 hour tour, then come back and relax for the rest of afternoon/evening.
The day started out great! One of the things on our list, the Alchemy Gate, was in a park literally across the street from our bnb! I bet you’ve never even heard of this place. That’s why we were there. 🙂 Here’s the story. There was a villa here in the 1600s. This “gate” (more like a door) was one of the 5 entrances, with the other 4 now gone. The owner of the villa was very interested in alchemy (basically turning things into gold). An alchemist visited the villa, and said that he had the recipe to turn herbs into gold. The next morning, the alchemist was gone, but he left two things behind- some gold flakes that were “proof” of his abilities, and the recipe. Except the recipe was written in undecipherable symbols. The villa owner then constructed this gate in 1680, and inscribed the recipe on the door. The hope was that some passerby would see it, understand it, and translate it so more herbs could be turned to gold! Fun story!! Where the gate is, there are also Roman ruins from the 200s. I mean, c’mon, Rome! Could you get any cooler! Oh, and did I mention it’s all behind a fence and guarded by dozens of cats, all of which give you the dirtiest looks when you walk by or dare to speak to them…
I’m a bad ass cat, just hanging out on some ancient Roman columns. And by the way, fuck you.
From there, we walked to the Spanish Steps, which I didn’t see last time I was here. That was about 1.5 miles, and “eh”. It’s just a bunch of stairs. With about 50 tourists for every stair. Brian snapped a couple of pics. And I realized when I downloaded them that he took pictures of everything there EXCEPT the steps!! This is what happens when I hand over the camera…. So here I present you with “random things you can find AROUND the Spanish steps”. 🙄
Ok, I gotta hand it to Brian on this one. This looks a lot like my Sun King’s symbol, so I’m assuming that’s why he took it!
I looked at the map and decided we could walk up toward the park that is behind the steps. Another half mile or so. We got to the park, it was now well after 10am, we had gone over 2 miles in the heat, and not had anything to eat. Food was now a PRIORITY! We passed the National French Academy, and of course I had to google to see what it was. Apparently, it was founded by Louis XIV (my Sun King!!) to send French artists to Rome to study and for inspiration. They live at the academy for a year. Apparently you could go inside, but we are both a little “eh” about art unless it’s something super duper spectacular, so we continued up the hill in search of food…
Here is what I learned about Italy that day. They don’t believe in breakfast. Hardly anything was open. If something was open, it was all pastries, because Italians don’t believe in protein before 11:30am. I think it’s a papal decree or something. At this point, I’m getting antsy, because I do not function well on lots of walking, heat, and no protein. I have to have my morning protein, or things get ugly fast!! We strolled hand in hand in the beautiful park, while I started having an anxiety issue about food….. Walked through the ancient Roman wall back into the city and found food alright….like 40 euros for breakfast!!! WTF?? I want protein, not a home equity loan!! Apparently we had stumbled into the fancy schmancy part of town…
Brian googled for a breakfast place and found one. We hoofed it another half mile. It didn’t exist. There was nothing but pastries. My body was tired and I was getting a gnarly headache. We decided to just walk toward our next stop, and hope we’d stumble upon food somewhere along the way… We’re up to like 4 miles at this point.
Next stop was to go see the “immaculate” body of Saint Victoria at the Santa Maria della Vittoria church. I may or may not have suggested I would take a few nibbles off of said 1800 year old body…. I did take control of the camera at this point, because weird ass creepy shit is my specialty and I didn’t want Brian fucking it up (this was even before I knew about the Spanish Steps debacle) The church was pretty unassuming from the outside. Inside, it was kind of dark, very decorated, organ music quietly playing- it was all an air of some sort of spirituality- not “hey, we’re a super gaudy church- exit through the gift shop!” vibe like most have. Found the body. Oh for Christ’s sake. It looked like a mannequin. If I had bitten into that dumb thing, it would have been like biting into a candle. And probably not even a good one like Yankee. Those teefers are real, and the true miracle would have been braces for that poor soul. Fake skin, fake hair, fake eyes. Common denominator? Fake. Draw your own conclusions… That said, why are Catholics so freaking morbid? Shudder.
At this point, it’s 11:30, we’ve walked about 4 miles total on zero food, and my body is in full blown rebellion. It’s either get food, or lay down in the street and die. I wasn’t going any further. Thankfully, Italians finally can serve protein after 11:30, but it’s still hard to come by. Dear Italy, Woman cannot live on carbs alone. Love, Mary. Found a pizza-ish place where you could buy just a slice. There was one with prosciutto and fig on it that looked unique, so I went for that. Pretty good! I thought I would immediately feel better. I thought wrong….
Trevi Fountain was up next. It was a little over a mile from where we were. I checked the Uber rates. 10 euros. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I should have. We started walking, and I was feeling worse and worse. It was a combination of the heat, not enough protein, a massive headache (that I would have taken an aspirin for if I had had one- that’s a big deal for me because I don’t take pills unless it’s a serious situation), my stomach not being happy, my muscles being tired, my brain being foggy….I was a mess. But we got to the fountain. I had already seen it, so pics are Brian’s.
Brian led us what seemed like 10 miles through the hot streets and got us to the Colosseo metro station where we were to meet our guide. We were about 20 minutes early. I needed a restroom STAT. The guide said we could go to a bar that was through the metro station and upstairs. I will say- Iceland, Scotland, Ireland, Malta- you could find public restrooms. Apparently there’s another papel decree that Rome can’t offer such things. But hey, they’ll give you all the free water you can drink, so… 😊 Brian ordered gelato while I went to the bathroom. He was still trying to figure it out when I got back, so I just sat down at a table to rest my weary, rapidly declining self. So, if you order gelato, you can’t sit at a table. Holy fuck. Brian walks over to hand me mine so we can go, and gets griped at by the guy that we can’t sit there with gelato. Yeah, dude, we fucking got it. Can he god damned HAND me mine so we can leave, because he’s juggling 2 gelatos and a fruit cup???? Sheesh.
I was feeling a little better after sitting for a few minutes and getting some cold gelato and fruit into my system. Went back and found the tour guide, and I sat on a dirty sidewalk trying to maintain my strength. Soon it was time to go. So let me stop here and explain this tour. Last summer, my son, his girlfriend, and I took this same tour with Walks of Italy- the same outfit we did the catacombs tour with yesterday. This is the skip-the-line, arena floor, underground, and Forum tour. I wanted Brian to get access to all of those places, because I knew we’d never come back again and it needs to be seen. Well, because we didn’t plan everything ahead of time like we should, it was literally about 4 days before that I got around to finding a tour. And EVERYTHING was booked solid. I just so happened to find this one tour through Get Your Guide, so I snapped it up. The operator was Touriks. They ain’t no Walks of Italy…
We walk to the far side of the Colosseum (kind of the back side), and go in. We then have to stand in the sun for like 10 minutes while we are handed off to another tour guide and got our audio sets. All of the recovery I had made from sitting and eating melted in the heat. It was 95 out. I was trying to drink as much water as I could, but fear of there never being any bathrooms was in my mind. I sat while the guide got everything sorted. Finally, we were off and into the shade. I had to immediately sit. My body was giving out fast, and we were only about 15 minutes into 2.5 hours… As the guide talked, I immediately recognized that she was not very good. She repeated herself constantly. Her stories didn’t flow. The woman from Walks of Italy last year was AMAZING!!! She really knew her stuff. She was passionate about it and explained everything in a way that got you excited about it as well. This woman…ugh. I thought maybe it was because I felt bad and was just critical of the entire universe right now. But as we moved to the next stop, Brian confirmed that he wasn’t digging her either.
Next stop, on the arena floor, in the full sun and heat. I sat on the benches while the guide explained how the floor was covered in sand and asked why. I piped up, “To soak up the blood.” Yep. And that was the extent of my interactive Hermione self for the day…. Next we went underground, which really is the coolest (literally and figuratively!) part of the Colosseum. I immediately sat on a cold rock and even took off my shoes and put my bare feet against the cold stones, trying to release heat from my body. This was my favorite part of the Colosseum last year- to see where the animals were kept, to see how they used elevators 2000 years ago to move them from the underground area to the arena floors. It really is spectacular.
Standing on the arena floor. There’s only part of it there now, but all of this underground used to be covered
Trap doors in the arena floor where animals would randomly pop up- surprising the gladiators and thrilling the audience!
There is still some marble left from the VIP seating area
View from the underground- kind of the “backstage” area. This is where the animals were kept.
Replica of the elevator system that would move the animals from underground to those trap doors in the arena floor
From there, we had to go to the upper levels, and I remembered that that meant a lot of stairs. I was NOT feeling stairs. The guide asked if anyone wanted to use the elevator. She didn’t have to ask me twice. So me, and an old lady with mobility issues, boarded the elevator. I’d rather be embarrassed than passed out… Up here, more sun. I sat while she explained everything, 60% of which was a repeat from what she had already said. It was frustrating as hell to pay this much money for this poor of a guide. By this time, even Brian was making fun of her constantly saying, “Can you imagine??” and “This is just the skeleton of the Colosseum.” And telling the story over and over of the “colossal” statue of Nero, over 35 meters high. UGH! She walked us right past the water fountain and didn’t even ask if anyone needed water, even though it was 95 today. The guide last year made sure to stop and let us fill our bottles. At this point, I’m just thinking ahead to the Forum tour, and having to climb Palatine hill….
View from the “cheap seats”!
Finally, it was over. We were supposed to go to the exit and meet the guide at 3pm. We had 10 minutes. I HAD to have water. So we backtracked to the fountain, filled up, then had to backtrack back to the exit. Got down there and found the original guide that we met. Where we were promptly pawned off on ANOTHER guide. We had the same guide for the entire time last year…. I pulled her aside, explained that I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to climb Palatine hill and I’d wait at the bottom. I knew they came down the same path again to get into the forum. So we entered the forum (which I love more than the Colosseum- it’s just STUNNING!!), and I found a bench under a tree near a water fountain to sit at for the next hour. Palatine Hill overlooks the Forum, and was where the emperors lived.
They came back, and the tour was basically over. She showed us some pictures in a book that showed the forum buildings and how they looked 2000 years ago compared to today. And that was it. Last year, the guide took us into the Forum to explain things. We were now on our own to explore the forum. Brian starts heading for the exit and I inform him NO WAY. He is going to see this. We’re just going to walk slow. We walked through the ruins, marveling at how advanced this city was. At just how spectacular the buildings were. I can’t even imagine how impressive they were in their hey day… The Forum was the “heart” of the city- lots of temples, government buildings, and commercial/social venues. When we were done, the plan was to walk back to Colosseo metro and take the subway back to the airbnb. But I was too tired. I called an Uber. For only 7 euros more than the subway, door to door service was worth it.
View of the forum from Palatine Hill
Got there and grabbed some food at a café that was downstairs in our building and took it to our room. Then, we packed our bags, me giving Brian all of my winter stuff, making my bag MUCH lighter and easier to manage, and his MUCH heavier! We were both asleep by 6:30. I slept STRAIGHT THROUGH until the alarm went off at 4:45am. 10 hours. Holy crap. My body was just exhausted from all of this fast travel. Brian didn’t sleep as well, but he never does…
by Mary Middlebrook | Jul 12, 2018 | Malta
I woke up early in Antibes, France. Really early. 4:30am. Because I had a flight to Malta leaving at 7am! Got my things together, gave Molly the ferret a kiss goodbye, and headed out the door to my Uber. Now, Uber is not my first choice. In fact, I had already purchased the return bus ticket to the airport. But I didn’t realize when I did that that it doesn’t start running until 6:30. The train starts up at 5:10, but there’s a long walk to the airport from the train terminal, and I really had no interest in trying to navigate that with my pack in the dark. So Uber it was. And Uber at a 2.4x rate, at that. Kill me now. We will never discuss what that fucking Uber cost me, but let’s just say that it was as much as my flight to Malta…I’m not kidding.
Got to the airport and breezed through security, and got to my Easy Jet gate. Had an entire exit row to myself, so I could lay down and try to sleep on the 2 hour flight. Apparently there aren’t a lot of people in Nice terribly excited about flying to Catania, Sicily at 7am on a Monday morning…
Landed in Catania, and settled in for the long haul. A 7, yes 7 hour layover. I considered leaving the airport and exploring the city, but by the time I would have had to deal with finding a place to store my luggage (no way I was carrying it around with me), get to the city, figure out what to do, get back, get my luggage, get through security…I decided it just wasn’t worth it. So I got a piece of pizza (when in Italy!), sat on the floor, and tried to entertain myself on my phone for 7….long….hours….
Finally, it was time to board Ryan Air to Malta! And if Malta in and of itself wasn’t exciting enough…BRIAN WAS IN THE AIR ON HIS WAY TO BARCELONA TO CONNECT TO A FLIGHT TO MALTA AND MEET ME THERE!!!! YAY!!! #internationallove We have both decided that 5 weeks is a ridiculous amount of time not to see each other, and from now on, he’s going to come and visit me every 3 weeks on my long trips instead of just one time in the middle. 🙂 He wuvs me. 😍 Short hour long flight and landed.
Again, didn’t feel like dealing with a damn bus, especially when I wasn’t even sure exactly which bus stop was closest to the airbnb, so paid a cab 27 euro. At least I didn’t have to negotiate- you go to the little taxi desk, tell them the destination, and they tell you how much and assign you a cab. Nice. But seriously, I should have been given a 50 euro refund… The guy had no clue where we were going. None. He weaved in and out of narrow winding streets for what seemed like forever. After I realized he was lost, I asked him if he wanted to call my AirBNB host. Nope. Ok…so we drove around some more. I was texting the host, asking him questions about cross streets or landmarks or anything. The driver had no clue what any of them were. Finally, I convinced him to call the host. He did. Wow! I didn’t realize Maltese was such an aggressive sounding language! Interesting! We drove and drove some more. The cab driver rolled down his window and asked some other driver something in Maltese. We made U turns. We turned into dead ends and had to back up. I was getting urpy in the backseat and if this Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride from hell didn’t end soon, the driver was going to be lost AND have a mess to deal with (the sign that said 50 euro cleaning fee was really the only thing keeping me from puking)…I finally convinced him to call the host again. After they hung up, the driver said the host was coming to get us. Jesus! What crazy off the beaten path, remote, rural place had I booked? Oh, just one on a freaking busy main street of a bay… The host was PISSED at the driver (Maltese apparently isn’t an aggressive language unless one of the parties is calling the other stupid…). The driver was PISSED. I was just happy to be out of that damn cab! The host showed me to the private apartment Brian and I would be calling home for the next few days. It was perfect, and the view of St. Paul’s Bay from the balcony was spectacular!
So I got in about 5 hours before Brian. After that crazy ass cab ride, I figured Brian would need moral and navigational support getting here, so I decided to meet him at the airport. Plus, I just wanted to see him sooner! ☺ No way in hell did I want to take another cab back to the airport- both for my sanity’s sake and my pocketbook’s. So I looked up the bus schedule online, and saw that the direct X1 bus would leave from just on the other side of the bay (super short walk) and take about an hour to get to the airport- arriving at the exact time Brian would. 3 euros. ❤ing it!! Headed down there with a bit of time to spare. Walked into the convenience store just to see if they by chance had Dr. Pepper. SCORE!!
I stood by the bus stop, sipping my Dr. Pepper like the boss lady traveler I am, counting down the minutes until my man arrived! Saw the X1 bus coming, pulled my 3 euros out of my pocket where they had been stashed separately for efficiency, walked up to the curb….and watched the driver literally look me straight in the eye and keep going. MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!! Now what?! I looked at my phone. It was almost 8:40. Brian lands at 9:40, except I knew he was a little late leaving Barcelona. There were no other buses that would get me there before 10:30 though, and I had to make a connection (which is not something I was interested in doing in the dark when I had no clue where I was). So here we fucking go, cab #3 of the day. I came back to the house and called the cab guy the owner had recommended in his welcome guide. That guy said he couldn’t do it. FUCK! So I jumped online and searched for an alternative. There is no uber in Malta. Found something called Ecabs that I could book online. Rate was 24 euros and they said they’d be here in 10 minutes….we’d see… Sure enough, I got a text that they were arriving, went downstairs, and there was the guy! Super nice car, and as a bonus, he actually knew how to find his way to the airport on his first try!! Highly recommended.
Got to the airport, and Brian was only delayed by like 15 minutes. I started looking around for the car rental people. They were recommended by the airbnb host (I read about 9 quadzillon horror stories about rental cars in Malta and wanted to make sure I didn’t get screwed!). Percius Car Hire was going to meet us there at the airport with a sign to turn over our car (169 euros for 4 days, including airport drop off fees and full insurance). But they weren’t there… We walked back through the “welcome line” at the arrival gate a couple of times. Then went outside to look. Came back and walked the line one more time and found the lady. She was super nice and it was really easy to deal with the paperwork. Had our keys in no time and were rolling out of the parking lot into the Maltese night….
Let me tell you something about my boyfriend, Brian. This man can drive on the left side of the road like he’s been doing it all his life. Actually, since I’ve been gone he got his DNA test back and found out he’s 73% English, so that probably explains it. The first time he did it, we were in Borneo. No problem. 2nd time, South Africa. No problem. Now I figured it was time for a challenge, so I booked a manual!! #cheapass So he’s coming off about 17 hours of traveling, driving in the dark (which we never do), and shifting with his left hand. Like. A. Champ. Damn, I love that man! With me navigating, we actually managed to find the airbnb again. Good thing, because we had a brand new country to explore tomorrow!!
CONTINUE TO DAY 2
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