Days 4 & 5: Peeeeeeeeenguins!

DAY 4

This entry shall be titled “COME HELL OR HIGH WINDS”.

First, let’s begin with hell. This is the worse case of jet lag I’ve ever had. I didn’t even know it could be this bad. I went to bed about 10pm last night. I didn’t go to sleep until AFTER 4 FREAKING AM!!!! And then guess when I woke up. 6:30am. Two hours of sleep. TWO. Misery, thy name is jet lag. I was starting to feel like a human again yesterday. Today, not so much.

And on to the wind…People, I thought the Santa Ana winds in Los Angeles the past couple of weeks were bad. Those were a slight breeze compared to what I have learned are the South-Easter winds. And I’m here to tell you they are no joke. I have been here for 3 days. The wind has not stopped blowing fiercely for a single second- and I’m not exaggerating. It’s a constant noise- both outside as it whips bushes into a frenzy and screams around the corners of the house, and inside where it rattles everything when a really big gust comes along. According to the online weather service, it’s pretty constant at about 30 miles per hour, with gusts around 50 (I’d guess higher). It’s like living in a dry, never ending tropical storm! It is a little better this morning- still quite windy but at least the ocean doesn’t look like a sea of white caps.

One thing I need to clarify is my current transportation issue. In Costa Rica, I had Jennifer’s Ms. Kia (car) to get around in. In Paris, I had the subway. In Kuala Lumpur, I could walk almost everywhere I wanted to go. In Simon’s Town there is no subway, no bus, I have been told by 2 different locals that the trains to Cape Town are unreliable and potentially dangerous. Rent a car? Sure- but that’s going to require me driving on the left side and I’m not sure I have the constitution for that yet. Uber? This is a possibility that I will be utilizing in the near future if I calculate the budget and the risk to the South African population and determine that renting a car is out of the question. Walk? Sure- but that’s going to require me returning home via a hill that the shuttle van that brought me here had a hard time traversing, PLUS dealing with the death winds. Oh, what the hell- let’s hoof it! There are penguins to be seen!!

I have three fears about leaving the confines of my posh digs.
1. Being blown all the way to Nambia (Trump’s African country where people who get blown away by the South-Easters end up- and NO ONE wants to end up in one of Trump’s countries. Oh…wait….)
2. BABOONS!! Good lord why do I always choose to travel to areas with man eating monkeys! And with these winds, they’ll probably be like those ones in the Wizard of Oz. The homeowner told me last night over the phone that I shouldn’t see any if I walk to the beach. I’m not convinced. In fact, I heard a neighbor’s perimeter alarm going off last night and I was convinced for a good half hour that a band of marauding baboons were going to be crashing through the house at any moment. I locked my interior bedroom door- that’s how real that possibility was to me! #jetlag
3. Having a heart attack walking back up that hill. Of the 3 fears, this one is probably the most realistic. But on the bright side, if I survive it they might give me some nice tranquilizers at the hospital and I could finally get some sleep.

WARNING. TRIGGER ALERT. SAFE SPACE NOTIFICATION. POTENTIAL UNINTENDED OFFENSIVENESS STRAIGHT AHEAD:
Before I could get out the door, the window cleaning crew dropped by unexpectedly. John, an older white guy with a delightful accent (is it South African? UK and environs? Australian? Don’t ask me- all I know is that it’s English). While we were talking, the younger black guy with him introduced himself as well. Look, I have no idea what the PC terms are here. At home, I’d call a black person African American. Here, I have heard them called blacks. I don’t know if that’s a welcomed term or not. When I asked my driver what cultures were here, she said black, colored, white, and Indian. Obviously, they’re African, but does that term really make sense since there are people here who are not black that are African as well? Color me confused. Anyway, back to the story. The younger black guy walked up, and was followed by another. John introduced them and said they were from Zimbabwe. That about 3,000,000 of them were in South Africa due to the government being so bad, but things were getting better. The two men had the darkest skin I think I’ve ever seen (and I was raised in the south). Skin so pitch black that it absorbed all light and even my gaze. A midnight arm reached out to me, then another. Their hands were large and rough and dry. In that handshake I felt a lot of things. Fear. That dogged fear instilled in me from my childhood in the south, that I have tried so hard to overcome completely. I guess those brainwashed initial instincts will always be there, no matter how much my conscious, enlightened self tries to stamp it out. But after that initial stupid instinct that quickly disappeared, there was amazement. These men were African. They had fled their home country. What stories did they have? In that moment, I was honored to be meeting them and honored that they were so friendly and kind to me and seemed to be genuinely happy to meet me. And finally, a sense of apology. For many things. For that initial fear, for everything people who look like me and speak like me had done to them over the centuries, for standing here in this insanely gorgeous house while they cleaned the windows. Just writing about it now makes me tear up. There was a lot of emotion that flowed through those 3 second handshakes…

I went into the kitchen to make my lunch, and there was that metallic green headed “hummingbird” again! I had told the homeowner about it on the phone last night, and she said they weren’t hummingbirds, but sun birds. Super cool! I ran back downstairs and grabbed my camera. I caught the pair of sunbirds (Orange Breasted) and another gorgeous pair of birds with SUPER long tails at the feeder (later research proved them to be sugar birds- the only species on the Cape)! As I watched them, I said out loud “These birds live in AF-RICK-UH!”. I have to keep reminding myself I’m really here.

The window crew left in the early afternoon. Maria had left for her trip back home earlier in the morning. For the first time, I was all alone. All alone in Africa. Hell and high winds (which had really picked back up) won out in the end. My eyelids were heavy and I knew I wasn’t going to make a trek to the beach and back on my measly 2 hours of sleep. I took a 2 hour nap. That gives me 4 hours of sleep in the last 24. I still feel hungover, so hopefully I’ll actually sleep tonight and be at 100% tomorrow. Days are moving too fast here for me to be so out of commission.

DAY 5

This blog shall be titled “S.O.L. (Shit Officially Lost)”.

Finally!! A day of adventure to share with you! First adventure of the day- sleeping from 10pm to 8am straight!! Woo-hoo!! Jetlag is officially my bitch instead of the other way around! I woke up feeling a little hungover and groggy, but once I started moving around and ate breakfast, I was back to my old self again and ready to head down to see some penguins! It wasn’t as windy- meaning it was a really strong breeze instead of gale force winds. Perfect!

First up, though, the homeowner’s brother-in-law was going to stop by to work on the rainwater catchment system. It’s a pretty cool set up, and super important since South Africa is in a SEVERE (and I mean SEVERE) drought. When water does come, every drop needs to be saved. He was a super nice guy and he showed me the system and we talked about traveling, South Africa, and more. After he left, I grabbed my trusty jungle hat (never leave the country without it!), my super awesome green day pack filled with a water bottle, jacket, and camera, and headed down the hill! And down, and down, and down…I tried not to think about up…

Got to the main road and tried to remember the homeowner’s directions to the place where I didn’t have to pay to see the penguins. Boulder Beach is a pay park, and I’ll probably wander down there eventually, but I’m all about free, so free penguin watching sounded good. I wasn’t really sure where I was going. I remembered her saying “golf course”, so when I saw it, I crossed it. There were these two really big birds (almost vulture sized) grazing in the dry grass. Upon arriving back to the house (spoiler alert: I didn’t die on the hill), I researched and think I have correctly identified them as Ibis, and maybe more specifically the Hadada Ibis.

On the other side of the golf course was the beach I can see from the house. White sand, blue green water, huge rounded boulders, and jaw droppingly gorgeous! I looked around in the rocks for signs of life, but only saw a couple of limpets and some assorted gastropods (snails). No stars or anemones or anything. 🙁

The beach was beautiful, but I’m not much of a beach girl. I am, however, very much a penguin girl! So I headed off down the beach in search of them. I don’t know how, but I actually found the little free boardwalk the homeowner had told me about! Opened the gate and walked down the sandy trail.

Not too many steps in, and I said out loud before I even thought- “Holy freaking crapballs- those are PENGUINS!!!!!!!!!” And there they were!!! And that’s when I went S.O.L (shit officially lost). They were AMAZING!!! I was talking excitedly to myself. I was talking lovingly to them. I was snapping pics. I just wanted to jump the fence and go snuggle with all of them! It was insanity of the best kind! I couldn’t believe these were penguins in front of me…penguins that live in AF-RICK-UH!!!!!!!

When I quit snapping pics, I turned around and looked up the trail where I had just come from. And damned if there wasn’t a penguin right on the trail by my leg! He was on the side of the trail opposite the beach- I had been staring at the penguins on the beach and didn’t even see him! If he would have been a cobra, he would have bit me (yeah, there are cobras here. no lie). I knelt down by him, about 3 feet away, and took some pics. I could have reached out and touched him, but of course I wouldn’t ever do that. Besides, I didn’t add the “Penguin Bite Rider” to my travel insurance. He kind of sneezed at me. I think that was a “get outta my personal space, lady” warning snot. I looked up and there were more penguins opposite the beach side. They were everywhere! On rocks, in grass, on the trail, by the houses, and one I saw swimming in the water.

Oh, but penguins weren’t the only critters out and about!! These hilarious looking beaver/guinea pig/rat things are rock hyraxes. And they aren’t kin to any of those things it looks like. In fact, their nearest living relatives are elephants and Sirenians (manatees and dugongs). Isn’t that insane?! All hail evolution, we bow before your wondrous glory. 🙂 There was a pair of them on the rocks, so cute. And then when I went down the trail a little further, there was one laying right in the middle of it. Now, other than being a marine biologist and pulling the “hey, I teach kids about your Sirenian cousins” card, I wasn’t sure what to do about this. Were they aggressive? Should I just turn around and leave him be? Because again, I didn’t check the box for Rock Hyrax Mauling on my insurance….Hmmm. I took a tentative step toward him to see what he would do. Nothing. I was about 5 feet away. I took another step- slowly. Nothing. One more step, and he scooted off into the bushes. Attack averted!

There was another bird on the beach that was simply stunning. Research indicates that it’s a Black African Oyster Catcher. So beautiful.

It was time to head back. I walked through the parking lot and saw this sign:

And then I saw this. Oh my god. If I ever ran over one of those darlings, I just go drown myself. I can’t even bear to think about it.

Walked back along the golf course toward the house. I managed to make it up the hill- somehow. I was really huffing and puffing the last block or so. All in all, 2.8 miles, about 100 penguins, a few rock hyraxes, a couple of ibis and black oystercatchers, and ZERO baboons!!!!!! I can’t imagine a more wonderful first outing.